


How Many More Times

by deanandcassbutt



Series: How Many More Times [1]
Category: Led Zeppelin
Genre: F/M, small mention of Jimbert
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-08
Updated: 2016-04-26
Packaged: 2018-03-29 14:58:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 31,486
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3900505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deanandcassbutt/pseuds/deanandcassbutt
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Julia Emerson wakes up one morning, she finds herself in the wrong house…in the completely wrong year. (Based off of a dream I had, needless to say, it was one of the best dreams I have ever had in my entire life.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

My mom pokes her head in my bedroom, sighs when she sees me on my phone. I close the window of gay fanfiction faster than I type when she comes in and walks over to my bed.

“Get to sleep, Julie, you have the SAT tomorrow, remember?” 

“Yeah, mom, I know, it’s kind of what determines the rest of my life.” She sees my phone in my hand and rolls her eyes, holding her palm in front of me.

 “Phone.”

 “But mom, I need it!”

 “And you need to sleep!” 

 “Music helps me sleep!”

 “If I check in the morning, will I see that you texted Taylor in the middle of the night?”

Silence. I hand my mom my phone, sighing heavily.

 “God, you’re smart.”

 “I know. Now go to sleep. We have to get up early.”

 I close my eyes, and when the door to my bedroom closes, I think I see a light turn on, but it goes out. I ignore it, and in a few minutes, I’m asleep.

* * *

 

“Jules! Come on, wake up, it’s ten in the morning, and you’re not even dressed! Get up!” 

 I feel the covers get ripped off of my body, and curl up in a ball and groan. “What the hell was that?”

 “Oh, my God. Get up! Do you want to even go to the Led Zep concert tonight, or not?” My eyes fly open at that, and I sit up so sharply, the person nagging me screams. I almost do, too. I don’t even know who this person is. She’s wearing dark blue bell bottoms, a grey Black Sabbath t-shirt, and a flower headband over her long brown hair. And I’ve never seen her face before, but I’m in her house, and I don't remember waking up and driving to some complete stranger's house and letting myself in to fall asleep in some room. She puts her hands on her waist and gives me the best bitchface I have ever seen. “Are you okay, Jules? You look like you’ve been dazed and confused.” She bursts into laughter. I probably would have, too, ‘cos that pun was just perfect, but I’m too busy freaking out about this room. 

 It’s totally not mine. It’s got band posters, yeah, but they’re all ones I never even knew were printed. Most are for Led Zep, but there are a few here and there of Black Sabbath and Jimi Hendrix. There’s a shelf of books on the wall in front of me where my closet had been when I fell asleep, and an electric guitar, an acoustic guitar, and two huge stacks of notebooks and song books where my desk had been. I slowly get up, and say, “I…what’s going on? Did Taylor set this up? Are you her friend or something?” And that’s when I see it. A record player that I know I’ve only seen in antique stores, along with a single I thought wasn’t even around anymore. Jimmy Page’s  _She Just Satisfies/Keep Movin’_. 

 I pick up the paper cover and swear loudly at the price tag that says $2.50 when I know for fact it usually sells for 80 bucks at  _least_. I can’t help but feel like I should trust this girl. So I say, “Oh, yeah, sorry. I just had a nightmare. Um…I’ll be out in a few.” 

 She leaves and I open the dresser and find clothes that are all my size. If this is a prank, holy shit, it’s been pulled off well. I pick out a pair of high waist jean shorts and a Led Zeppelin II tank top, and I’m really freaked out about how  _new_ it is. And the tag isn’t even for a store I’ve heard of, which makes me even _more_ freaked out. After I get dressed, I open the door and find my way to the kitchen, where the girl is putting a piece of bread into a toaster and pouring herself a glass of orange juice. She starts talking when I sit down at the small table.

 “So I talked with Richard, right? And he told me that it wasn’t his fault that Sam got knocked up, he just didn’t want to use a condom or some shit. And I go, ‘Well, guess what? That makes it your fucking fault!’ So now I’m single. He was a dick anyway. I hope I find a guy I like tonight.”

 I grab the plate she put the toast on and start eating. “Where did you meet him, again?”

 “At Lucy’s for Chrissie’s birthday, you were there!”

 I laugh nervously. “Oh, yeah! I must’ve forgotten.”

 I must be pretty close to this girl because she sits at the table in front of me and says, “Sorry Mom and Dad weren’t here yesterday for your birthday. I knew they said they’d come home. Maybe next year, right?”

I look down at my food, and say softly, “Yeah. Maybe.” Thank God for acting lessons.

 She smiles and I can’t help but smile back. “Well, Jules, we’re gonna have fun today. I have to be at the Coliseum and in the front by 8, but we've got to get there kind of early. What do you want to do?” I couldn’t think of anything. I know that back here, Pike Place was super sketchy, and Pioneer Square the sketchiest place in the state, which hasn't changed all that much. So I can only think of one place to go.

 “Can we go to the record shop? I want to see what they have and if they have Dark Side of the Moon.”

She looks at me like I’m crazy. “Really? Pink Floyd? I thought you didn’t like ‘em…”

I shrug. “Yeah, well, I heard one of their songs on the radio and liked it a lot, so I just want to see if I like it. And if they have any more Jimi Hendrix. Yeah, yeah, I know he’s dead, but I like him.”

She smiles and picks up her purse, and I can see that her name is Caitlyn from her driver’s license. She hands me my own bag, and I look inside, and see a wallet, a tin of mints, a lighter, and a small box marked with the words  _Happy 18 th, Jules, have fun! –Alex _on it. It’s been opened already, so I bet that happened yesterday when I wasn’t there yet. I pull the strap on my shoulder and put on a pair of sandals, and as we leave the small apartment, I look at a calendar and my heart jumps.

 It’s Friday, March 21, 1975, and in bright blue marker the square is taken up with LED ZEP TODAY!!!! FRONT ROW!!!

* * *

 


	2. Chapter 2

We walk down Greenwood Avenue North towards a record store she knows the way to, and to get more information about…myself? I start to talk to the girl, who I’ve gathered is my sister. For some reason, I remember some Jimbert thing about the Lemon Song, and say, “So what d’you think about Robert and Jimmy?”

She grins and moans, and says “Oh, my God, someone has to tell their parents good job, because holy shit, they’re beautiful! I swear they’re probably fucking. Seriously, though! Sydney and Emma told me that the last time they went two years ago, during Whole Lotta Love, Pagey and Robert were practically doing it on stage. I hope we get to see it!” We both laugh, but what she doesn’t know is that I know for a  _fact_  we’ll get to see that. 

 When we walk into the record store, I can’t help myself from tearing up a bit with happiness. All of the albums that I have always wanted to buy but can’t because of their huge price are only three bucks or less, and there’s a huge wall of 45s that’s just calling my name. I go over to a rack of albums from A-E, and flip wildly through them, picking out  _Are You Experienced?_ ,  _Abbey Road_ ,  _Bad Company_ ,  _Dark Side_ , and  _Electric Ladyland_. As I go through the store, I pick up more albums by Kansas, The Doors, The Easybeats (I actually do cry when I see this one because I only every saw it being sold for over a hundred online, and it’s only five dollars here) and The Yardbirds. When I’m done, the total comes out to a whopping $30, and Caitlin takes a twenty and a ten out of her wallet and change to break even.

As the cashier hands me a plastic bag with my new records inside (I can’t get over not getting charged an extra ten cents, but hey, it’s the 70’s) Caitlin looks at a clock on the wall and says, “I have to go to the Coliseum, check something about the sound system. D’you wanna come with me?” I nod, and I hand her the plastic bag with my records as we start walking the fifty minute trek over to Key Arena (Well, technically Seattle Center Arena, but whatever). She goes around back to the restricted access parking lot, and shows the guard a badge. She motions to me. “It’s my sister, she’s good to go.” He lets us pass, and we go to the door that leads into the concert venue.

 As we walk down dimly lit corridors and weave around corners, we find a room guarded by guys wearing shirts labelled  _Led Zeppelin North American Tour 1975 ROADIE_  and I can’t help but automatically come to conclusions. She shows them her badge, and when they don’t move, she says, “Listen, I’m here to speak with Jimmy about the sound system, so if you don’t mind, my sister and I would like to go in.” One of the roadies opens the door, calls, and I stop breathing when James Patrick Page shows up and smiles. Talk about fucking gorgeous.

 “’S alright, boys, she’s good. Is she with you?” He points to me, and Caitlin nods. “Yeah, she’s a fan of you guys, so this is her surprise 18th birthday present. To meet you.” She grins and says to me, “Did I just win the birthday game?” I can’t do anything but nod and stare at Jimmy, because oh my GOD he’s perfect. As always. 

 From inside of the room, there's a loud laugh and someone shouts, "OH MY GOD I FUCKING HATE THIS TABLE!" And then a loud crash as that table is possibly broken in half. Caitlin looks behind Jimmy's shoulder, and when she does, the man takes the chance and fucking winks at me, and I can feel my body screaming for him to have my children. So my spike in hormone levels makes me wink back and smile as I walk by him into the room behind Caitlin. 

 I'm faced with Robert Plant pretty much dying of laughter on a couch, John Paul Jones sitting on the floor with his bass and laughing, too. The table is in about five pieces on the floor, Bonzo standing over them with a red face and a beer in his hand. Jimmy sees my not very shocked reaction and says, "I'm surprised you aren't running away screaming. Most usually do after he goes off like that." Caitlin says quietly, "I see why!" But I just shrug and say casually, "Well, he does end up destroying entire hotel floors and starting bar fights, so I'm not all that shocked."

 Caitlin looks at me like I'm crazy, but Jimmy just laughs and Robert turns around, his eyes shining. "Pagey, did you see what Bonzo did? His drink fell off the table and he-" His sentence is lost to more laughter, and Jimmy shakes his head, still smiling. He turns back to Caitlin, and now he's serious. "Okay, sound system. Could you tell me anything that has to be prepped in a certain way? For the best sound quality?" She nods, and then they sit down at a counter and start talking. 

 I walk over to Robert, who finally stopped laughing. He smiles warmly. "Oh, happy birthday, by the way. I liked being seventeen, I think you might, as well."

I shrug. "I dunno, college sounds scary as hell. I'm so not ready. I mean, I haven't even started looking, and I have to figure out where I want to go or I won't get accepted and I..."

He hugs me, and as I'm trying not to squeal, he says, "It's alright, Julia, I know you can figure it out, okay?"

Pretty soon, we're talking deeply about the different albums, and as soon as he starts talking about Physical Graffiti, Peter Grant comes in and shouts, "You lot! You're on in fucking ten minutes, get ready!" Caitlin shakes hands with Jimmy, and as I get up to follow her, feel someone grab my hand. I turn around and am face to face with Jimmy, and he flashes that heart stopping smile I've only seen in pictures.

"I would love it if you could come backstage after the show, I hope I can take you out."

He hands me a backstage pass, and I smirk and say, "Maybe I will. See you, Pagey."

 Caitlin and I sneak into the front row, and already, guys are hitting on her left and right. She wanders off towards one who catches her eye. He's got long hair and a really good looking face, and they end up making out until the show starts. I'm super excited, so much that I actually scream "I LOVE YOU, JIMMY!" when he comes on stage holding his single necked guitar. He searches the front row until he sees me waving at him, and smiles and winks. Dammit, he's hot. 

 Then Robert's on stage, and he goes over to the microphone. As the crowd goes silent, like some unnatural force has made the volume in the air almost disappear, he says, "Good evening, Seattle!" And receives thunderous applause and cheering. And then, Jimmy's walking towards the mic, and he says, staring straight in my general direction, "Good evening." Everybody also cheers, because he never really says anything during concerts.

 And then, as Bonzo starts to beat the drums like they're punching bags for his trees, I can't help from grinning and laughing from happiness, because I never could have even imagined exactly how this would be like. 

 All through the concert, I'm leaning on the guardrail, my heart pounding in my ears due to how loud the music is. But it's fine and doesn't bother me for very long, because I've blasted all of these songs at top volume while I'm on the bus and internally dying with despair for the future when the 12 year old middle schoolers of my junior high/high school yell about how Anaconda is their jam. So my ears adjust pretty quickly. 

 The concert goes just as I thought. Jimmy and Robert occasionally exchange guitar notes and sex sounds. Bonzo abuses the crowd's eardrums like his own drum set during the amazing 15 minute Moby Dick. Robert being a cutie and playing the tambourine during Stairway while Jimmy uses the legendary Gibson EDS-1275 double neck (and makes me fucking die just by using the twelve string part). Jonesy playing his keyboard solo before No Quarter. And Kashmir is just fucking glorious, hands down. 

 And then the multiple encores start. As they go into Whole Lotta Love, Caitlin and the guy she’s met come over to where I am, and Caitlin yells into my ear, "I WONDER IF THEY'LL DO THE THING!"

"WAIT, IT HAPPENS WHEN THEY FINISH THE FIRT VERSE, IT'S IN TWO SECONDS TOPS!"

And I'm right. Robert steps backwards towards Jimmy and, as the singer finishes the verse, they lean on each other and sing "Wanna whole lotta love!" While moving against each other to the beat. And, as I expect, Cait and I just die a bit. 

 The concert ends at about 10:30, and when the rest of the band walks offstage, Jimmy hurries to the area I’m at and yells, “Remember, alright?" I nod, and he smiles and runs after his bandmates. I find Caitlin in the thinning crowd, and tell her I'll be out for a while. She just nods and goes off with the guy she's picked up. 

 I go the way Caitlin and I came into the concert hall from, and find my way back to the dressing room door. I show my pass to a roadie, who opens the door and lets me in. 

 The room is occupied by the band, Peter, some other guys, and about twenty or so groupies. I still can't wrap my head around the fact that some are sitting around Peter Grant of all people, but then again...groupies. Just then, I see Jimmy surrounded by probably five girls, all of them in their mid or late twenties. However, despite them being his age, Jimmy gets up and goes straight to me, putting his arm around my shoulder. "I'm glad you came, Julia! Come on, let me introduce you to the rest of the boys."

 He leads me over to the couch, where Bonzo, Jonesy and Robert are sitting with a crowd of groupies around them. Jimmy pushes his way through them, and says, "Hey, guys, this is the girl I was telling you about. Julia, the boys." I smile at Robert, and shake hands with the other two band members. Jimmy looks down at me and asks if I want a drink, so I ask him for a Guinness. He goes to a table with bottles covering the surface, and comes back with an open beer. I thank him and take a sip, and he leads me back to the chair he had been sitting in when I came in. The groupies who had surrounded him are long gone, now fawning over both Peter and Robert. We sit down, and he starts asking me questions. 

 "So where are you from?"

"I was born across the lake in Bellevue, but I consider myself from Seattle."

He nods. "I get that, I was born in Heston, but I moved to Epsom when I was pretty young so I just say I'm from there. Do you play anything?"

I shrug. "A bit of guitar here and there, but not much else. I really love guitar, it's really relaxing for me when I get upset. I bet you get that, huh?"

He smiles. "Yeah. It's a good way to unwind after a hard day." I think about what I can ask him. 

 "Hey, Jimmy? What does it feel like going all over the world all the time?"

He laughs, and says, "It can get pretty lonely, to be honest. I mean, this life, having people throwing themselves at you for a night in bed, it can be really emotionally taxing. Cos even if you like someone and want to have them around for a while longer, it's pretty hard cos you eventually have to leave in the morning, and then it happens all over again in another city in another country. But sometimes there can be exceptions." 

 I blush and look down at my drink, take another sip. He keeps his arm around my shoulder and says, "A lot of people who don't live like us don't really know how hard it is. They think that we have it easy, just going on stage, playing some songs, leaving and doing it again, and getting money from it. But it's so much harder than that, especially if you don't have anyone to stick around."

I look up at him, and say, "I wouldn't be with you for just a night. I mean, come on. That's not even remotely long enough for anybody!" He smiles and pulls me a bit closer, but the action means so much more than just a little nudge. 

 We end up talking for a good hour or so, about increasingly intimate things, until he asks me if I've shagged anybody. I just say that I nearly did, but he wasn't even all that special I me, so I had stopped it before anything could really go on. He nods and smirks, leaning close to my ear to whisper, "Maybe I could change that."

I look back at him, right into his eyes, and say, "I'd be fine with that."

He leans closer to me, and I can see the different colors in his eyes, the brown and green together. His voice is lower now. "What if I told you I wanted to since I saw you with your sister?"

I break eye contact so I can glance at his lips, then look back up at him and say, "I'd say that I've wanted to since I saw your picture and thought you were the most attractive person I've ever seen." He tucks a strand of hair behind my ear and keeps it on the back of my neck, and then I'm snaking my arms around his neck so I can meet his lips with mine.

 Everything around me seems to slow down as the arm around my shoulders moves to pull my body closer to his, and he moves his legs so he can have me on his lap. I feel my blood beating through my ears, the excitement of just kissing him coursing through my veins like a wildfire. His hands both move to my back, and I lean into his touch when they go down my sides to my hips. But before anything more can happen, Peter taps Jimmy on the shoulder and says, "Page, we're leaving. She comin' with you or not?"

Jimmy looks back at me, and then nods. "Yeah. Yeah, she's coming with me."

I get off of his lap, and we leave the dressing room hand in hand as the roadies ward of paparazzi who are flashing pictures and possibly getting my face. But I don't even care. I just made out with Jimmy Page, and fucking him and waking up in the morning with him is a hell of a lot more important than getting my picture taken. 

 There's a car waiting by the exit of the backstage area, and as I get in, a roadie blocks the door so Jimmy can get in without any pictures. When we're both in the backseat and the door is closed, Jimmy's mouth is back on mine, one hand in my hair, the other on my thigh. I lock my arms around his neck and hum into his mouth when his hand goes farther up my leg, and when he keeps going towards more and more sensitive skin, I can't help but close my eyes tight and hold him tighter. And then his hand goes into my shorts, and when he touches me, I gasp and start to shake. 

 Because his fingers are as good down there as they are on his guitar. 

 As I am about to moan his name, he puts a finger to my lips and nods towards the driver, who is currently focused on the road. The hatch that separates us from him is open, and that's when I understand that Jimmy actually wants me to stay quiet while he's fingering me, which is just diabolical. So as he keeps on going, using a thumb on my clit while putting two fingers in me, I have to actually put my fist in my mouth to keep myself from screaming his name, possibly one of the most difficult things I've ever had to do. It doesn't take too long for me to lose it and finally be able to say something, but Jimmy asks the driver, "How much longer until we get to the hotel?"

 "About two minutes, Mr. Page."

 I swallow and heave in huge gulps of air, and say breathlessly, "Six minutes? That felt like…that felt like ages." He slips his hand from my shorts, and sucks his fingers clean, which for some reason turns me on again. He puts his arm back around my shoulder, and says casually, "You better be okay in about five minutes. I'll let you keep your mouth open when we get in my room."

For a man with such an innocent voice to say something that dirty is insane, but I remember that it's Jimmy Page and he’s actually going to fuck me in five minutes for God knows how long. 

* * *

 


	3. Chapter 3

There are even more photographers in front of the hotel, and when the car slows down a security guard pushes through the mass and opens up the door. As soon as Jimmy gets out, cameras start flashing like strobe lights, and when he helps me to get out, he holds me close to his body by wrapping an arm around my waist. When he does, people start focusing on me, and are practically yelling for my name. Jimmy and I just ignore them, which is pretty hard since they’re so loud. The guard who opened the door for us helps us get into the hotel lobby while keeping the cameras out of the building, and the two of us go right past the bar where I can hear Bonzo yelling about something and Peter burying someone with insults. Jimmy hits the elevator button and waits patiently for the car to come, but I can tell he’s just dying to get me in his bed because he’s getting a massive boner that’s really hard to keep my eyes off of. He lets me get into the elevator first, and pushes the level 4 button. When the elevator doors close, Jimmy’s lips are attacking mine, and backs me up against the left wall. He grabs my face to hold me there, and I can’t help but let him keep me there and kiss me breathless until the doors reopen onto the fourth level. I am pulled out into the hallway by the hand, and when I stumble over my own feet and straight into Jimmy, he picks me up and throws me up over his shoulder. We’re both laughing as he opens the room’s door, and my bag falls to the floor when he closes it behind us, plunging the room back into darkness.

 I feel my way forwards since he’s set me down, and I quietly call out his name. I jump when a hand slithers around my waist and up my shirt, a body pressing against mine. All I can hear are my short breaths as he reaches around and unhooks my bra, and I take off my shirt so I can let the straps fall off my shoulders, making it fall to the floor. I swear Jimmy’s able to see in the dark or something, because when he pushes me back a bit, we’re already at the foot of his bed. I move up so my legs aren’t dangling off of the end, and then he’s on top of me, kissing me and touching every inch of skin he can find, like he’s memorizing my body. I freeze for a second when he starts to pull my underwear off, and he says sweetly, “Are you okay?”

I don’t know why I nod. He can’t see it. “Yeah, yeah, I’m alright. Just kind of scared it’ll hurt.”

He holds my face and says, “Just relax everything, and it’ll be a lot better, trust me. It won’t hurt.”

 He continues to take my underwear off, and when it’s finally on the floor next to us, he spreads my legs apart, and settles himself between them. I swallow and do what he told me. I relax every muscle in my body the best I can, and show him I’m ready by wrapping my arms around his neck. He pushes into me, and I feel a small ache that’s immediately replaced by one of the best feelings I’ve ever had in my entire life. I can’t control my nails digging into his shoulders, but he’s just encouraged by it, and starts to go back and forth, slowly at first. I only am able to lay there and keep my eyes shut and my mouth open in a loud moan as he builds up speed, and when my throat just closes up and stops the sound, he grabs the sides of my ribcage and pulls me up so we’re sitting up, our bodies close enough that I can feel his heart beating rapidly against my chest.

 As soon as we start moving again, he’s got his lips on mine and his hands clutching my hair. I feel him hit a spot that makes my entire body go haywire, and I start breathing heavier and hold him even tighter. He moves his head down to rest against my collarbone, and he moans against my skin as he comes. I can hear him moan my name as he jolts his hips against mine so he can get the most out of it, and when he’s done, we just stay there for a minute, his head on my chest and my fingers raking through his hair as I slow my breathing. I start to tell him what I know about Caitlin’s parents, like they’re my own. We lay back down, and before I know it, he’s asleep, his arms wrapped around me. As sleep makes my eyes close, he says, “Where have you been?” and I smile as I finally lose myself in dreams of him.

* * *

  I wake up, and from the darkness of the sky outside, know that the sun isn’t up. But I can see that it’s getting closer, the black sky giving way to a dark yellow and orange nearly impossible to notice. To make sure I’m not dreaming, I pinch my arm and smile to myself when nothing around me changes. My nails leave marks on my skin, and as the area around it turns red, I feel the person next to me move and put their arm around my waist. They sigh, and the breath on the back of my neck makes me shiver. To my happiness, it’s Jimmy’s voice that comes that says, “I don’t think I’ve slept that much in a night for a long time…” He senses that I’m thinking about his line of girls he never satisfies, and he says quickly, “We’ve been working on a new album that’ll come out in a few months, at least. Free time is either used for the girls or we just sit in a room and try to figure out songs.” I roll over so I’m facing him, and he looks up out the window. His eyes are shining even in the dark. 

“Julia, look outside.” I do, and what I see is astonishing. The city skyline is completely out of the view, and the sun is just coming up over the other side of Lake Washington. I watch it as it rises, everything becoming more and more visible, the sky getting lighter, until the very bottom has left the ground. I turn back to him, and he leans over me to kiss me slowly. When he pulls away, I see his eyes, and there’s happiness, sure, but also sadness. It’s barely there, like he’s trying to hide it in the depths of his head, but it’s there.

I lift a hand up so I can run it through his hair, and he leans his head against it. “Jimmy, what is it? There’s something you’re not telling me.”

He sighs and shakes his head. “It’s just…We’ve got to leave in the morning. For a concert in LA.”

I feel heartbroken. Oh, God, it’s painful. I can’t help tears welling up in my eyes and falling out of the corners into my hair, and let out a sob of “Oh, Jimmy!” and then he’s kissing me again, like he’ll die if he doesn’t. And sure, maybe a part of me wants to believe that the guy genuinely has feelings for me, but at the same time, I know how quickly he moves on. I know how many girls he goes through. Who had he slept with during his time here on the 17th?

But then again, he had said “Where have you been?” like he hadn’t been as satisfied with other girls. Even Lori, which I’m pretty damn happy about.

I’m breathless when his lips leave mine, and then he’s off of the bed, getting a pair of jeans from a suitcase and putting them on. We get dressed in silence, my tears drying into tracks of powdery salt on my face by the time we’re both leaving his room. There’s a car waiting for us downstairs, and it drives me home, Jimmy holding my hand the entire way. We both get out, and when he’s about to kiss me, I hear an unfamiliar voice yell, “JULIA! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?”

I jump out of Jimmy’s arms, and look towards the house to see a woman with greying brown hair and a face exactly like Caitlin gaping at me with a wide mouth, and I realize this is Caitlin’s mom. I bite my lip and look nervously up at Jimmy, who looks shocked. I whisper, “Maybe if you come in and just tell her you’re 19 or something…”

“I dunno, d’you think they know who I am?”

“Probably not. I hope.”

We both walk hand in hand into the house, and Caitlin kicks her concert guy hard on the foot when he’s about to scream that it’s Jimmy Page. He gets the message pretty fast and shuts up before the guy I assume is my dad can kill one of the best guitarists in the world. So I put on my most convincing smile. “Hey, Mom, Dad! Um, this is James, he’s on exchange from England. He’s going home tomorrow, so I thought I could take him to-“

Caitlin's dad interrupts me. “How did you get a car to drive you here?”

I freeze and Jimmy saves my skin. “It’s the guy I’m staying with. His dad lent his car so Julia could show me around the city before I leave.” Caitlin’s dad nods and looks Jimmy up and down, like he’s see him somewhere. “Haven’t I seen you? It was in something about…what was it, Len Zeffelin?” Jimmy sighs and shakes his head.

“It’s Led Zeppelin, sir. And that’s my neighbor. Jimmy Page. He’s my cousin, actually.” Oh, my God, the guy Caitlin brought home is dying, I can tell. It’s kind of annoying, so I say, “I just wanted to come over and get something really quick.” The two neglecting parents just point in the direction of my room, and start talking with Caitlin about how they’re going to leave in two days to go to fucking Gibraltar for three months.

I go into my room, and when Jimmy follows, say, “You can look around, I don’t care. It’ll be a bit.” He goes to my record collection (one of the few things I’ll call my own here in this girl’s bedroom because, duh, they’re awesome!) as I go through a pile of shoes in the closet. He chuckles.

“You have my single. I didn’t think people over here knew about that.”

I find one of the best pair of Burks I have ever seen, put them on, and walk over to look at the 45 with him. Jimmy’s fingers are just itching to take the vinyl out, so I do it for him. _She Just Satisfies_ starts playing, and I can’t help saying, “I don’t know about any other musician who could have played everything and made it sound this good. You should sing more often.”

He just smiles and puts an arm around my shoulder. “Nah. We should get _you_ to sing on an album sometime.”

I lean into his side, and we stay there, listening to the rest of the single, and when it’s over, we leave my house and are on our way to the rest of the city.

* * *

 


	4. Chapter 4

When it’s evening, we go to a diner joint to eat and, as soon as we sit down, keep being interrupted twice every ten seconds by people asking for Jimmy to sign something for them. Only when he finally starts politely declining and emphasizing the fact he’s on a date are we left alone. I take a sip of my Nehi Root Beer (for the first time in my life) and almost choke when I try to swallow, because Jimmy casually says, “I want you to come with me. Tomorrow. I know how miserable you are here. You own parents missed your birthday.”

 I clear my throat and just stare at him, and say slowly, “You want me to go with you? On the rest of the tour?”

 “A bit longer, I was hoping.”

 “Like…you want me to just leave and go with you wherever?”

 “Yeah. Yeah, that’s right.”

 I bite my lip and try to sort my thoughts. I look up at him, and smile. “Okay. But I’ll have to ask Caitlin to cover for me. My parents will probably get a bit upset, but like they really care.”

 “Wait. Don’t they leave for Gibraltar tomorrow?”

 “Yeah, at- They leave at four in the…”

 We both just grin and laugh, holding hands on the table top, and my heart’s probably going a mile a second, because oh my god, this could actually work.

 We make a game plan. Jimmy will buy me a few more suitcases so I can put all of my things in them, and I’ll give a note to Caitlin, telling her where she can call us and check on me, and another telling her parents why I’m leaving. There’s only three more dates for this tour, and then Jimmy promises that we can go to England and meet the band family. I can’t help but sneak a kiss, because I’ll finally be able to meet Karac in person. Which’ll be really hard, because I don’t want to end up crying when I see him. We eat the rest of our lunch in silence, occasionally looking up from our food at the same time and smiling at each other like a cheesy romance movie, but I don’t care. At least I’m with him.

 When we leave the diner, it’s almost dark. We go back to the car that brought us to this part of Seattle, and when we get in, Jimmy says, “Take her home.” All through the ten minute drive back to my house, we kiss like it’s the end of the world, but really, it’s because we’re just so ready for what we’re about to do.  When we get to the driveway and kiss one more time, he says, “I’ll see if I can get the band to leave at ten or something. So we can pack all of your things.” I nod, and hug him. “I’ll see you in the morning. I love you.” And then we go our separate ways for the day.

 As soon as I open the door, the people who think they’re my parents get on my ass about the time. “It’s almost an hour past your curfew! Where were you? Why were you late? What were you doing?” I get so pissed off that they’re being hypocritical, my head starts hurting. I scream, “WHY WERE YOU BOTH LATE FOR MY BIRTHDAY? HUH!? WHAT WERE YOU DOING THAT WAS SO MUCH MORE IMPORTANT THAN ME AND MY SISTER, THAT YOU WERE GONE FOR _THREE FUCKING MONTHS_!” They both start yelling at me, but I just spit at them, “You know what? You two are the shittiest excuse for parents I’ve ever seen. You’re never here, you’re never around, you don’t know how much Cait and I have to depend on each other. So fuck you. I’m done. I’m just DONE.” I stamp to my room and slam my bedroom door, locking it. I find three suitcases and take out all of my clothes from the dresser, stuffing them all into two and fitting a good half of my records into the third. Bonzo can help with that one in the morning.

 Nobody tries to come into my room except for Caitlin, who I pretty much have to let in because she should know about Jimmy and my plan. I let her in, and she sees the suitcases and doesn’t talk until the door is closed again. “What are you doing?”

 I take a deep breath. “Jimmy wants me to leave with him tomorrow and go back to England with him. I said yes. He’s coming with the boys to pick me up at nine.”

 She sits on my bed, and I can see the wheels turning in her head, if she should tell her parents, if she should take charge since they don’t even care about me. She goes with the latter. “Just call me and keep me updated, alright? And send pictures.” I hug her, and thank her over and over again, because I swear she’s one of the best people on the entire planet.

* * *

 

Caitlin’s parents don’t come in to check on me in the morning. They just take their bags out to the car, put them in the trunk, get in, and leave to go to the airport. It’s 4:27 in the morning. I can’t go back to sleep with a weird feeling of abandonment in my head when I think of them both leaving again. And they aren’t even _my_ parents. I go to my dresser and put on the clothes I set out the night before; bell bottoms, sandals, white tee shirt, and brown leather jacket. I see if I can find a good book to read on the plane, and settle on _Return of the King_. I put _Two Towers_ and _Fellowship_ into my purse in case Robert wants one of them to read on the flight to LA.

 I go to the kitchen at around seven after listening to Led Zeppelin I, II, and III in succession, and make myself a plate of eggs and ketchup. As I take my first bite, Caitlin comes in, rubbing her eyes. She’s still in her pajamas. With nearly closed eyes she gets a plate for herself, along with a cup of orange juice. She sits across from me at the table, and says, “You’re already dressed.”

 “I couldn’t sleep. I listened to three albums. How’d you sleep?”

 “Good, I had a dream that Mom and Dad got stuck on an airplane and it kept going around the world and never landed. So they never came home. But like that’s not true.”

 She eats her breakfast quickly, and when she’s done and has a bit more energy, smiles at me. “I’m happy you’re going somewhere new, Jules, really. It’s great that you get to get out of here.”

 “Yeah. Hey, do you know where my passport is? I need it.”

 She nods and gets up from the table, coming back after going through drawers in a room nearest to the living room. She comes back and hands me the passport. “Here you go, don't lose it. Okay?” 

I nod and finish my own eggs in silence. Once the plate is clean, I look up at her and say, “I’m gonna miss you, Caitlin, you’re the best. I’ll call you as soon as I can get to a phone. Okay?” 

She gets up and hugs me. “That’s fine. I just want to make sure you’re okay.” And then, there’s a knock on the door, and when I open it, Jimmy’s smiling at me.

 “Hey, Julia. You ready?” The rest of the band is behind him, with a couple more suitcases. I smile at Jimmy, and as soon as we make eye contact, I’m not nervous that I’m leaving. I’m totally calm. “Yeah, I’m ready. Come in, I need two of those for my records and the rest of my things I want to bring with me.”

* * *

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Six days later, 12:03 AM**

“Julia? Wake up, love, we’re leaving in thirty minutes.” I rub my eyes and yawn, roll over and pull the sheets up over my head.

“No. I don’t want to get up. It’s too early…”

Jimmy chuckles and takes the cover off of my naked body, and lifts me up bridal style so he can help me get dressed. He doesn’t try to make a move on me, because he knows that I’m too tired to say yes. So he just puts me in the clothes I set out the night before, and I let him carry me all the way down to the ground floor. He goes to a roadie and tells them to get our stuff, and the guy goes back up to our floor with another four people. Jimmy takes me out to a car, and puts me in the back and gets in next to me. I lean on him and close my eyes. As the minutes tick by, Robert and Jonesy join us, and Bonzo gets in the front seat. Once all of the suitcases and equipment are done being loaded, it’s 12:20, and Jimmy doesn’t even look tired. But Jonesy and Robert are pretty much out, the two of them leaning to the left so Robert’s head is on Jimmy’s shoulder, Jonesy’s head on Robert’s. If I wasn’t completely exhausted, I’d probably be dying over how cute they are, but I’m too tired for that.

 And I’m also apparently too tired to process time accurately, because by the time I register that the car has left the hotel and is going to LAX, we’re almost there. I try to keep my eyes open as Jimmy helps me get out and picks me back up, and he just says, “Don’t worry, you can go to sleep as soon as we get on, alright?”

I nod, and wrap my arms around his neck, bury my head into the crook of his neck. In a few minutes, I feel him going up the stairs and maneuver me through the doorway, and feel my feet against a few seats before I’m set down on what I can instantly tell is the bed in the back of the plane. He gets in next to me, and I fall asleep before he can say ‘good night.’

 When I wake up, it’s light outside, but it looks like it’s edging on a sunset, the light blue sky going to a faint yellow-pink at the horizon. We must be getting close to England by now. I’m about to ask Jimmy how long we’ve been in the air when he says, “You’ve been sleeping for eight hours, if you were wondering. We’ll be in London in about two hours.” I sit up and yawn, stretching my arms out and dragging my hair through my fingers to get out at least some of the knots. I hear Jimmy laugh when I get up and stretch my back out and getting some satisfying cracks and relief.

I turn around and throw a pillow at him. “What’re you laughing about?”

He throws the pillow back at me with a grin on his face. “Nothin’, you’re just really cute when you wake up. I can’t wait to see it in the morning.”

I smile and feel my face heating up, and hold the pillow close to my chest as I look down at my feet. “I think that’s the first time someone’s ever told me that I look good waking up, to be honest.”

He just gets off of the bed and wraps me in a hug, saying, “Well, you better get used to it, cos I’ll tell you every day.”

 All I want to do is grab him and fuck him because of how fucking perfect he is, but I don’t get the chance to even get a grip on him, because Peter Grant sticks his head in and says, “Oi, Page, Juliet, stop being antisocial and come out here.”

Jimmy doesn’t move, just keeps hold of me, and says flatly, “Her name’s Julia, Peter, not Juliet. Get it right.”

Grant just waves his hand and retreats. Jimmy sighs. “Sorry, he’s like that. Do you want to…?” He nods to the bed, and even though my body is screaming “YES!” louder than an exploding bomb, I say, “Maybe when we get back to your house. Well, not maybe, _when_.” Being the perfect little fuck he is, he nods and takes my hand, leading me out the door to where everyone else is.

 Jonesy is at the organ, occasionally taking a sip of his drink as he plays something I don’t recognize. Bonzo is dying with laughter with the roadies, talking about how much it would cost to re-carpet some hotel’s hallway and how pissed off they must have been with motorcycle tracks on the seventeenth floor. And then there’s Robert, sitting in a corner by himself as he reads a book. Probably Lord of the Rings. Jimmy takes me over his friend (with benefits, but he doesn’t know I know that stuff…) and says, “Hey, Planty, what’re you reading?” Robert flips a page, and without looking up, says, “Two Towers. I’m on chapter six. Where Grima is yellin’ about the guards letting Gandalf keep his staff.”

 I can’t help but blurt out, “I love when Saruman gets put under house arrest by the Ents. But it’s too bad that he still managed to get the Shire in such a bad state, I cried.” Robert looks up and has a huge grin on his face. “You’ve read the series?”

“Yeah. And the Silmarillion. It’s a great series, I could read them forever and never get tired of it.”

He loves that, and we end up talking for a good hour and a half about our favorite characters and moments (we both unanimously agree that Éowyn and Faramir getting together was one of the best) when the plane starts to go down, slowly at first, but then at the rate that tells me we’re almost to the airport. I can see the lights of London growing brighter as the cloud cover starts to thin, and my heart starts beating rapidly as the runway gets closer and closer. After clutching Jimmy when the wheels touch the ground to keep from falling on the floor, I stand up from my seat as soon as the plane stops. I grab my purse and sling it across my body, and nearly sprint out the door when it opens up, but Jimmy grabs me and picks me up, laughing and smiling like he’s the happiest guy in the world.

 When he puts me down and Bonzo pushes past us, I hear a small voice shout, “DADDY!” and hear Bonzo saying countless hello’s to Jason. Jimmy gets out and onto the stairs with me, and I see Robert’s wife, _the_ Maureen Wilson, point to us, and three children start jumping up and down, screaming excitedly. We walk down, and the second Jimmy’s feet are on the runway, a girl with long blonde hair tears Maureen’s hand away and runs straight to her father, jumping into his arms. Jimmy is just about to put her down when I hear a woman say, “You missed her birthday, James. You said that you’d be there.”

 “Ah. Hello, Charlotte. Why are you here?”

 “I brought your daughter here so she could see you. She’s coming back home with me. Come on, Scarlet, time to go home.”

 “But Mummy, I don’t want to go! I don’t want to leave Daddy!” Scarlet just tightens her hold on Jimmy who holds her closer. “It’s okay, love, you can stay with Daddy and Julia.”

 When he says my name, Charlotte glares at me. “Who are you?”

 I freeze up and swallow. “J-Julia Emerson. I’m…I’m from Seattle. I won a contest on the radio to come over here with the band, and so I-”

“Where did he pick you up, secondary school?”

I’m really annoyed with this woman, so I say, “No. I got picked up backstage. How about you, a hole in the ground?”

We just stand there for a minute, staring each other down. I realize it’s quiet, and then Jimmy steps between us and puts his hand on my waist. “Come on, Julia, it’s getting late. Oh, and Charlotte? I’m staying in the country for another year, so I’d really appreciate it if you could let my own daughter stay with me for as long as she wants to.”

Charlotte turns to leave, and then she whispers in my ear, “If you shag him, I’ll see that you get deported back to America. You get that?” I smirk. “That’s funny. Because that didn’t happen the last time.” She jerks away from me, and doesn’t talk at all when she goes off to wherever her car must be.

 And then everything’s back to the way I thought it would. Carmen marvels at my accent, and Karac just hangs on me and cries if someone tries to get his arms off from around my neck. Scarlet, when Karac is in his mom’s arms and crying so loud it hurts my ears, says, “Are you my Daddy’s friend?” I nod, and then Carmen, in the fashion of her father, says loudly, “Are you together?” I look at Jimmy with an open mouth, and then we both start laughing as Maureen says to her daughter, “Carmen! Don’t be rude!”

Jimmy shakes his head and grabs Carmen and holds her in the air, saying, “It’s okay, it’s my little Carmen, yeah?”

She laughs and kicks her legs, squealing, “Put me down, Uncle Jimmy, put me down!”

He does, and then we all remember that we’re supposed to be going home. So Jimmy, Scarlet and I get into a car with Robert. Maureen, Carmen and Karac. I volunteer to sit in the back with Maureen, and the two of us have to double up with one of the three kids so we all fit. Karac wiggles away from his mother to sit on my lap, and so Maureen takes Scarlet. Karac looks like he’s tired, so I think of what I can do to get him to fall asleep. I say, “Hey, Karac, d’you want to play a game?” He nods, his head of curly brown hair moving with him. “It’s called _Who Can Sleep First_. Whoever wins will get a surprise in the morning.” As soon as I say that, Carmen and Scarlet start begging if they can also play, and I smile. “Okay, you guys, remember, whoever sleeps first gets a surprise. Go!”

 The three of them close their eyes, and they’ll periodically start giggling. But after ten minutes or so, the laughing dies off, and they’re all asleep by the time we’re halfway to Robert and his family’s farm, so Jimmy and I decide to just stay the night there with Scarlet so we can take her home in the morning. When Robert pulls up in front of the main house, he gets out and goes to my side, picking up Karac from my lap and thanking me. Maureen gets Carmen after Jimmy takes Scarlet, and I follow them all into the house, up a flight of stairs, and into a bedroom. Carmen wakes up for a minute, just enough for her to get into pajamas, but the other two kids are knocked out. When Jimmy and I say goodnight to the kids and leave the room, Maureen says, “You two can have the guest room, it’s down the hallway, first door on the right.” I thank her and say goodnight to both her and Robert before heading to the bedroom we’ll be in for the night. We undress, get under the covers, and fall asleep.

* * *

 

 I wake up when I smell something burning. I hear the sound of a lighter being turned off, and then something like bubbles in water. I piece it together in my head, and my eyes widen. Fuck no, he isn’t doing that. I sit up in bed, and say, “Jimmy, what are you doing?”

He jumps and drops something on the floor, and quickly says, “Nothing. I just had to, uh….I had to get something.”

My heart’s thumping, but I can’t tell if it’s with shock, fear, or frustration. “Really? Then what was that burning smell?” He doesn’t talk, so I do what I really don’t want to and turn on the lamp on the bedside table. And my heart physically hurts.

There’s a lighter and a spoon on the floor next to him, and a long piece of what looks like rubber cord or something already tied around his arm, and he’s got the needle in his fucking hand. I can’t breathe. My head is pounding like I have a concussion, but all I can think is _GET IT AWAY FROM HIM NOW._ I don’t fling myself down at him to wrestle it away, because I don’t want to accidentally get injected, so I just get out of bed, kneel in front of him, and take the syringe out of his hand. He’s looking at me with so many different emotions, I can’t tell what he’s thinking.

 I put the needle onto the bedside table next to the lamp, and say firmly, “Jimmy, don’t do that. Please don’t do that to yourself. Think of Scarlet. What would she do if you died because of that?” His eyes flicker to the syringe, back to mine. Sadness and guilt, that’s all I can see, pure and untainted. I keep going.

 “Do you know how many people have died because of it? Too many. Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, Jim Morrison, Brian Cole, Rory Storm, and Rudy Lewis. But there are so many more who’ve been killed by what you were about to put into your own body. I don’t want you to be on that list, too. None of us would.”

That’s enough to make him rip the rubber cord from around his arm, let out a sob, and fall into my arms, saying over and over, “I’ll get rid of it, I’ll get rid of it, I’ll get rid of it.” And I want to believe it, I really do.

 But my experience with this kind of situation is not sure at all. My cousin said she’d stop for seven years, while custody her daughter was given to my aunt and uncle, nobody knew whether she was dead or alive, and while we all lost faith in her coming back at all. But I feel like I have to trust him on this because he is genuinely crying, and after he stops, we pick up his drugs, go into the bathroom, empty the needle into the toilet, and then dump the rest of his heroin after it. He takes a deep breath and presses the lever down, and we both watch as death is swept down and away from us.

**Morning, 8:02 AM**

 “Julia! Julia! Julia! Come on, wake up, we’re going to the river! Come on!”

I wake up to three children jumping on the bed, and Jimmy groans and says, “Oi, you three, go and get dressed. Then we can go.” They get off and run down the hallway laughing, and Jimmy says, “Thanks for what you said last night. If I get withdrawal, I want you to keep it away for me as long as you can, throw it all away. I’ll stay in a room for three days if I have too just to stay away from it. I promise.”

I kiss him and say quietly, “I just don’t want to see you fall apart.”

He holds me close, and nuzzles my hair with his nose. We hear the kids coming back, so we get out of bed and get dressed as fast as we can. They drag us downstairs, and then all of us -the kids, Robert, Maureen, Jimmy, and me- walk outside. The kids all run out in front of us, laughing and chasing each other while the rest of us just walk and talk about how the tour went. Maureen wants to know about how Jimmy and I met, so he tells her, leaving out the details of our first night together. Jimmy is already starting to feel the withdrawal coming on by the time we get to the river, though; his leg is shaking, he keeps on sniffing like he’s got a cold, and he occasionally stretches out like he’s sore.

 Before I get in the river to play with the kids, I sit next to him and hold his hand. “It’ll be pretty bad for a couple of days. If you want I can drive us home. Or we could stay here until you’re better. It’ll be nice to be out here. Okay?”

He just nods and presses his hands against his forehead like it’ll explode. I squeeze his hand gently and stand up, taking off everything but my underwear and jumping into the water. The feeling of the slow moving water on my skin calms me down, clears my head of every little worry I’ve had. I lay down and close my eyes, letting the stones dig into my back, letting my hair follow the current until it is down to my lower back. I sit up, and smile when Jimmy looks at me with love in his eyes despite the pain he’s feeling all over his body. I motion for him to do the same, and when he’s in his pants, he lies down next to me. We stay there, hand in hand, as the river washes all of our stress out and away. I look over to him and see he’s smiling, and when we’re both completely calmed down, we get out and get redressed, sitting on the river bank with Robert and Maureen. I sit in between his legs, and he wraps his arms around me, resting his head on my right shoulder. I lean my head against his, and we stay there until the kids are done with the water and we all head back to the house.

 It’s three in the afternoon, and although Jimmy’s starting to feel worse, he keeps a smile on for Scarlet and I. I say to Maureen, “You know what? That’s why I love him. Even though he’s feeling like shit and just wants to sleep, he’s keeping Scarlet in his full attention.”

Maureen nods. “He’s a good guy. I’m glad he’s getting better.”

I just love this woman. She’s so calm, even though her husband’s best friend is going through heroin withdrawal, and she is pretty much fine with me being with him. I can’t get over how much I love this entire band, and that I’m actually here with them. Especially Jimmy.


	6. Chapter 6

**That night, near midnight**

I’m sitting on the floor of the guest bedroom with Jimmy, who’s groaning and laying down on his side. His face is paler than usual, the area around his eyes red, and his legs are constantly moving. He looks up at me and says, “Babe, baby, I think I’m dying.” 

I pat my legs as I cross them, and he crawls over, putting his head on my lap. I run my fingers through his hair, and say softly, “You aren’t dying, it’s just the withdrawal. It’ll hurt like hell for a few days, and it’ll get worse today. But you’ll start feeling better by Monday. Okay? I’ll be with you the whole time.”

He kisses my knee and digs his head into my thigh, and says lowly, “Where would I be without you, Jules?”

I chuckle, continue stroking his hair. “I don’t know…Do you think you would be able to control yourself if I went out and bought you medicine for the pain?”

He shakes his head solemnly. “I’m sorry. I don’t know, I feel like it’s calling out to me, but I don’t know where it is, and I’ll go mad if I don’t find it.”

I nod and kiss his head. “I’m going to see if I can ask Robert to get something. Don’t do anything. Okay?”

Jimmy nods and stays perfectly still as I walk out the door, and then I hurry into Robert and Maureen’s room and say, “Robert? You awake?” There’s a gasp and I hear someone say in a strained voice, “Just a minute, please! I…Fuck!” I duck out of the room and stand there, because I just walked in on them having sex, but after about a half a minute, Robert comes out, and says, “Yeah?”

“Jimmy’s in a lot of pain. Would you mind going and buying him some medicine? He needs it really bad.”

“Yeah, sure. I’ll be back in a half hour. Just hang in there, alright?”

I hug him, say thank you, and hurry back to the guest room. Jimmy’s still on the floor in the same position. I go over to him, and get back on the floor. He instantly repositions his head on my lap, and doesn’t move until I tell him my legs are asleep. He just moves to the bed, and even though I haven’t moved at all, he says weakly, “I want you to stay here with me, come here and stay with me. I need you to be with me.”

I get in next to him, and he just curls into me and holds onto my waist like he’ll sink into the mattress if he doesn’t. I rub his back and say softly, “I won’t go, okay? I’ll stay here. I won’t go.”

He groans again and moans, “Julia, I can’t do this for much longer, it hurts.”

I kiss his head and say, “It’s alright. Robert’s getting you some medicine to make the pain go away, you’ll feel a lot better, I promise. Okay? I’m going to take care of you until you’re better.”

Just as I say that, Robert comes in with a paper bag. He hands it to me.

“It’s Tylenol. I got three bottles, in case it lasts longer. I asked the pharmacist if there are any other ways to help, and she said that water and sleep are the best. So we should take him down to the river about three or four times a day, and then he can sleep the rest of the time.”

I get up and hug him, and don’t realize I’m crying until he says, “If you want to take a rest, I can look after him. You need to sleep.” I nod and go back to Jimmy.

“Jimmy? I’m going to go and get some sleep. Robert is going to look after you for a bit, alright?”

Jimmy sniffs and grunts, “Okay. Love you.” and then goes back to sleep. Robert tells me I can sleep in his room with Maureen, and that she’ll be fine with it. So I kiss Jimmy and whisper “I love you,” before leaving the room and going back to where Maureen is. I get in bed, and say, “Sorry about earlier, I didn’t know.”

She laughs. “Don’t worry about it, it’s our fault for not locking the door.”

We’re quiet for a while, and then she asks, “How’s Jimmy doing?”

“He’s in a lot of pain. He’s sleeping right now, though. Robert wanted me to sleep.”

Maureen pauses. “I think…I feel like you’re a good girl for him to be with. You’re so nice, and you get along with Scarlet so well. Robert said Jimmy was worried that she wouldn’t really warm up to you, but you surprised him. Well, all of us. And Karac is so shy, he saw something about you that made him know you’re a good person to be around. And, personally, I love how normally you treat the boys. You don’t act like they’re gods and worship them. You just talk to them all like they’re normal human beings. And Robert agreed with me on that, too. He’s really grateful for that.”

She grabs a hold of my hand when I open my mouth to tell her my anxiety about Jimmy, but she cuts me off like she knows exactly what I'm thinking. “Don’t worry. We all love you like family here. I can’t begin to tell you how thankful we are that Jimmy met you. Convincing him to quit the smack just like that? I don’t know anyone who could have done that.” She pats my cheek like the mother she is. “Now go to sleep. You need it.”

I turn over so I’m facing away from her, and when I close my eyes, the only thing I can see is Robert and Jimmy, huddled together on the guest room bed like kids on a cold night with no heating but each other to stay warm. Then I come in and lie down next to Jimmy so my body curves with his, and then Maureen comes in and drapes herself over Robert, Jimmy and I. Scarlet wedges her way in between Jimmy and I, Karac and Carmen with their mother and father, then Bonzo goes on the foot of the bed, then Jason, and Caitlin lies down next to me.But what I see next from above all of us is insane. The mass of bodies have made the shape of the word “Family.”

Caitlin’s mom and dad aren’t there.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so Jimmy's finally going to feel better in this one, thank God. I was dying from sadness during the withdrawal parts, so I'm glad he'll feel better. Anyway, here it is.

In the morning, I get out of bed at 7 and go straight to Jimmy and my room. I see that the bathroom door is shut, and hear someone retch violently, cough, gag again. I sigh and knock on the door. Robert comes out and says, “Are you squeamish?”

I shake my head. My mom had been sick with stomach flu for two weeks and couldn't keep anything down for more than a few minutes, and I had to take care of her. I could deal with this. He gets his body through the doorway.

“He’s been asking for you. Well, between throwing up and crying. I’ll get you something to eat downstairs, alright?”

I nod and go into the bathroom, closing the door behind me. Jimmy's on the floor and looks like he’s been to hell and back more times than Dean and Sam Winchester combined. His face is pale, his eyes are red, and his whole body is shaking. He manages to get out “Jul-” before throwing his head into the toilet and dry heaving, coughing more. I sit on the floor next to him and ease his hair out of his way and rub his back.

“It’s alright. I’m here. I’m here. You’ll be better by tomorrow. Okay?”

He nods weakly and rests his head on the toilet seat, his hair soaked with sweat. I hug him and say softly, “You’re probably the strongest person I know, Jimmy. You’re getting through this and not giving up. It’s great.”

He sniffs and swallows. “Thanks. Shit, I’m tired.”

“Well, you just made your body work really hard, so yeah. You’ll be tired.”

He starts to laugh, and says, “It’s too bad my breath is absolutely horrid, cos I just really want you to kiss me.”

I smile and press my lips to the back of his neck. “Me, too. But I can wait as long as I have to until you feel better.”

By 10, he’s not throwing up anymore, so Robert and I take him out to the river so he can clean off. As Jimmy strips down to his pants and gets into the water, I say to Robert, “If he does it again on tour, you call me as soon as you can. Okay?”

“Yeah. Or I’ll just get Peter to yell at him. That’ll work, too.”

Jimmy lies down on his back and closes his eyes, using his hands to comb his hair through his fingers and wash it out. It takes a while, but when he gets out, he looks a hell of a lot better than when he got in. He’s able to walk back without us having to support him, and as soon as we get back inside, the kids flock around me saying, “Where are our prizes for the game?” I laugh and pick Karac up.

“I’m sorry, I forgot about that! Come on, then, they’re in my bag.”

We go out to the car we got here in, and I open up my suitcase with the random things I found in the room back in Seattle that I liked. I grab the first three things my hands touch, and hold them out. Carmen grabs a leather bracelet too big for her wrist. Scarlet chooses a beaded red and orange necklace, and Karac gets the last “prize” of a miniature plastic dog. They all marvel at their new things, and then run back inside. Karac looks at me and says, “Down, please!” I set him back on the ground, and he goes inside after his older sister. I close my suitcase and close the trunk, then also go back into the house and into the living room, where Jimmy is fastening the necklace around his daughter’s neck. I can hear him talking to her.

“Did you remember to say thank you to Julia?”

“Yes, Daddy.”

“Good girl. And did you wait your turn?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay, love, now turn around so I can see.”

I can tell he smiles when she hops off of his lap and faces him, and then she sees me. “Hi, Julia!” Jimmy turns around and scoots over on the couch he’s sitting on. I walk over and sit next to him, leaning my head instinctively on his shoulder. He laughs.

“I’ve noticed that whenever you’re sitting next to someone, no matter what, you always lean on them.”

I shrug. “It’s just one of those things you have to do and you can’t really understand why. You know?”

He nods, and says to his daughter, “Go on and play outside. But get a different outfit, your mum would kill me if she saw that dress dirty.”

She skips up to Maureen and asks if there’s anything she can wear, and when they go upstairs, I ask Jimmy, “How are you feeling?”

“Alright. Not exactly perfect, but a lot better than I did this morning. Thanks for helping me with that, love.”

I smile and hug him. “You’re welcome. Oh, by the way, you’ll probably feel loads better tomorrow. It’s going to be Monday. Do you have any idea how proud you should be?”

He kisses the top of my head. “Yeah. I’m also proud of you. How you’re handling it. You’re a lifesaver.”

I move so my legs are on the couch, and Jimmy rests his back on the armrest so I can put my head on his chest. I smile and hum when he moves a hand to my back, dragging his fingers up and down my spine.

“Hey, Julia?”

“Yeah?”

“Are you okay to have a shag?”

“You mean, am I okay with fucking you? I’m more concerned about you.”

“Well, it’ll give me excersise, right? Work my muscles.”

We both just start laughing hysterically, and I nod. “Yeah, I’m down.”

**11:08 PM**

“I’m starting to feel a lot better, and since I’ll be done by Tuesday morning, I think Scarlet, Julia and I can go back to my place.”

Robert nods and puts an arm around Maureen’s shoulders. “That sounds fine. But just make sure you leave late enough that the kids can say goodbye to each other. But I’m really glad that you’re going to stop using, Pagey, it’s great.” He looks to his wife, back to us. “Well, we’re going to bed. You two can just go upstairs when you feel like you should. Alright?”

Jimmy smiles at his bandmate. “Yeah, sure. Good night, Percy.”

As soon as Robert and Maureen are out of sight, Jimmy grabs my waist and wraps his arms around me. “Julia…Baby, I want you so bad, let me…”

I touch his chin, and he tilts his head up immediately. I smirk. “Well, let’s go. Wherever you want.”

He stands up and pulls me closer to his body. “Wherever I want, huh?” I nod. He licks his lips and looks over my shoulder, back down at me. “Okay.” He grabs my hand and opens up the front door as quietly as he can, and I jump out before him, smiling at the only place that we could actually do this and not be heard; the car parked in front of the house. He lets me get in first, and then he gets in behind me. I get on my back and Jimmy starts kissing me, his lips frantic and starving for mine. He unzips and unbuttons my jeans, and lets me take them off before he gets his own pants off and on the floor of the car. We go back to kissing, and Jimmy holds the back of my neck, brings my lips as close as he can. I can literally feel his hard on against my leg, and I whine into his mouth. He pulls away. “What is it?”

“James Patrick fucking Page, I haven’t had you fuck me for a good four days or something, and your dick on my leg isn’t…”

He stops me by putting a finger to my mouth. Leaning down so he can speak in my ear, he utters, “If you don’t swear I will.”

I stop breathing for a second, and then know better than to say anything because I just need him so badly. When I don’t say anything, he goes back to kissing me and gets his dick out of his pants. I’m pretty much shaking with anticipation, and when I feel him start to go in, I wrap my arms around his neck and press my forehead against his. It wasn’t a mistake, because now we’re eye to eye.

He smirks and says in that low voice my body loves, “You want me to make you sore in the morning?”

I stare right into his eyes, and answer, “Why wouldn’t I want that? We’re only leaving to go to your house in the morning, right?”

He grins and pushes into me. I gasp and hold onto him tighter, my fingers instinctively curl and grip his hair. He starts to thrust faster, and each time he groans or I cry out his name, we make eye contact and just get even more turned on. Jimmy starts to lose control whenever our mouths touch even the slightest bit, so when he’s about to climax, I pull his head closer to mine and kiss him. He moans into my lips, and when he comes, he says my name in the same low voice that I can’t help dying from. We stay there for a good ten minutes, and then grab our clothes, run into the house, up to our room, and get into bed.

Before we sleep, Jimmy tells me, “I asked Jonesy and Robert to go through my house sometime tomorrow and throw away any that they find. You know, any of _that_. I just…I wanted to let you know that.” I nod and rest my head on his chest, and go to sleep listening to his heart.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So I had to do a shit ton of date stuff for this one, so just bear with me. BUT I LOVED WRITING THIS!!!

Catherine Emerson knocked on her daughter’s door, saying, “Julia, honey, it’s time to wake up. Come on, get up and come downstairs.” She waited for the sound of Julia’s covers being thrown off to the side, the sound of the floorboards next to the bed to creak under tired feet. But there was no sound of her daughter moving to get up out of bed at all. She waited for another minute, and when still no noise came through the door, she gave in to the voice in her head telling her something was wrong.

And there was. The bed was empty. Julia was gone.

Catherine started to panic. She threw open the closet door to see if any clothes were missing, but the dresser hadn’t been touched. The window next to the bed was still locked, and there wasn’t any sign at all that Julia had been taken. She started to completely search the entire room, looking for a note, an explanation for her daughter disappearing in the middle of the night without a trace.

Catherine spent almost five hours searching again and again for anything she could find to understand why Julia was missing, but came up empty handed. She felt a panic attack rear its ugly head at the front of her mind, and she sank down the wall next to Julia’s door, unable to stop sobbing harder than she ever had in her entire life.

Julia was simply gone.

* * *

 

April 11th, 1975

“Julia! Julia! Me next, me next!” I laugh as I sit on the grass in front of Bonzo’s house, in a circle with Scarlet, Jason, Carmen, and Jonesy’s two eldest daughters, Jacinda and Tamara. I’ve just taught them Quack Diddly Oso, and they’re all arguing about who gets to start next. Jimmy drove us down here two days earlier so he and the rest of the band can get ready for the last 3 concert dates in May before the first tour of the year. Although they’ll be at Earl’s Court, which is just two hours from Bonzo’s house, we all decided to congregate here so we won’t be so widespread when the May 25 concert ends. So I’ll help the two Maureens and Pat keep the kids busy while their fathers are in London, despite the first concert being in a little bit over a month. But I don’t mind. I love these people with all of my heart.

Jonesy’s Maureen comes up to me, and whispers, “How are you feeling, love?” I feel a slap on my hand, and the children all laugh and shout, “JULIA’S OUT!” I smile and stand up, leave the circle, and follow Maureen inside.

As we walk into the kitchen, I can hear the sound of drums, guitar, voice, and bass guitar ringing through the house. It’s “Since I’ve Been Loving You.” When I sit down at the dining room table and accept the offer of a cup of tea, I hear a familiar voice behind me say, “Sorry about the wait, I got lost trying to get here. Hey, J-”

I jump out of my chair and squeal, flinging my arms around Caitlin’s neck. “OH, MY GOD! Cait, what are you doing here?”

She laughs and shrugs. “Well, it’s spring break. What’s a better way of spending it with Led Zep and my little sister?”

I sit back down, and she takes the chair next to me. “So, Jules, are the pads and stuff here different than back in the U.S?”

I guffaw, and say, “What? How am I supposed to know? I don’t have it!”

She furrows her eyebrows and shifts so she’s turned towards me. “Um…You’re sure about that?”

I nod. “I would know if I got my period, Cait. Why do you sound so shocked?”

She looks at me like I’m an idiot, and says flatly, “You were supposed to get it a week ago, remember? You ended on the 15th last month.”

I stop breathing then, and my mind races. Fuck. So I’m seriously like her fucking sister. How did that happen?  I try to figure out in my head if _that’s_ possible. Sifting through the shitload of information given in Sex Ed, I realize that it’s _completely_ possible. The days where I could have most likely gotten knocked up were from the 18th to the 23rd.

I fucked Jimmy twice in that time.

I must have zoned out, because Robert’s Maureen is shaking my shoulder lightly, and says, “Julia? Are you okay?” I look up at her, and I just know my eyes are wide and my mouth is slightly open, so my face is basically shouting _Um, fuck no, I’m not okay._ She reads my expression like a book, and sits back down. Her beautiful face is suddenly extremely serious, and she looks at all of the women at the table.

“Julia has an issue. She’s skipped her period, and after a week, we all can agree that…you know.” The wives all nod, while Caitlin’s hand grips my shoulder. Pat looks at Robert’s wife. “What do we have to do?”

“Don’t tell the boys. We have to find a way to get her a test or something without them knowing.”

Caitlin is the next one to talk. “Hold on a second. Shouldn’t we at least tell Jimmy? He should know, I mean, if she is pregnant, it’s going to be his kid. I think he has the right to know that he might be a father.”

I look around the table, and the girls all look at each other, communicating in that way that only women who have been mothers can talk without speaking. Pat sighs.

“Maybe. But Jimmy’s been off of heroin for only a month. If he was to find out that he could father a child from a girl he’s known for that amount of time, we can’t anticipate his reaction. We won’t know if he’ll be able to handle it or if he’ll cave in from the stress.”

Caitlin tenses her jaw. “And what would his reaction be if we didn’t tell him only after we find out she’s pregnant? That’d be a hell of a bigger shock than if we told him that it could just be a possibility.”

I sit up and take a deep breath, and say, “Do I get a say in this? I’m the one who fucked him in the first place, so I think that my own opinion kind of matters.” They all look at me, and I make sure I’m not nervous as fuck before I continue talking.

“I think that I should tell Jimmy. Nobody else. What happened in Seattle and L.A. was between us, and I admit that I was a dumbass for being so stupid and not taking precautions. But since I was the one to put myself into this position, I think I should tell him. As soon as I can, before the 18th. And I want to be tested as soon as I can, too. And I know he’ll be fine. I have faith in him. He won’t get back into that as long as I’m here to help him through. I’ll tell him tonight. And that’s final.”

They all nod, and Robert’s Maureen sighs. “You’re right. It is your decision, I’m sorry that we all tried to tell you what to do without asking you what you wanted. Tell us when you want to get tested, and we’ll help you out, alright? And your sister will be here for two more weeks, so you can talk to her, as well. Oh, I think the boys are taking a break.”

She says it in a way that’s telling me that I have the chance to do what I should do, and I nod. I stand up as the band comes into the kitchen, and as soon as Jimmy comes towards me, I hold him by both hands and say quietly, “I have to talk to you. Alone.” He looks worried, but follows be out the kitchen and out to the back of the house.

He turns to me, and says, “What’s wrong, Julia? Are you…Are we…”

I shake my head and move my hands to the sides of his face. “No, no, no, no, no, Jimmy, never. I just…have to tell you something.”

He looks down at me, listening intently. I sigh, and when I speak, my voice is higher than usual. “You know how we shagged in Seattle and L.A.?”

He nods. “Yeah, why? How could I forget that?” I clear my throat.

“Well, I didn’t realize that…That both of those days, I could get…pregnant. I might be, I didn’t get it. I was supposed to a week ago, and I didn’t remember. So…I might be pregnant.” He’s quiet for a while, and doesn’t say anything as he wraps me in his arms and kisses the top of my head. My vision starts to go blurry as tears fill my eyes, and when he whispers into my hair that we’ll be okay, I just start crying.

I hope to God we will be okay.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm thinking of integrating Julia's mom into the story a bit more, and this on was my first attempt at really making her a part of the overall plot of what's happening to Julia in 1975. Tell me if I did a good job with it, I'd love to know! Thanks!! Also, Julia's self dialogue draws from my own experience. I do the exact same thing when I forget a dose of my ADHD meds and I just felt like the talking to herself also fit in with the situation she's in. So... yeah. :)

Two days after telling Jimmy that he might be a father, Caitlin and I go into a drugstore in London called Boots to buy a test kit. It’s frustrating to me as soon as I see one; after being used to seeing ones that take 5 minutes, I can’t help but mentally curse 1970’s technology since the ones in front of me all take two fucking hours. Caitlin can tell that I’m bothered, and she puts her arm around my shoulders and pulls me to her side, and says, “I bet you can think of other shit to do during two hours, just chill out.”

I sigh heavily, and shake my head. “You pick. I have no fucking idea what I’m supposed to look for.” She chuckles.

“Okay. I got this, man. I had to do this for Jamie after she fucked some guy she met at a drive in, and it turned out that it was the best in the store. Okay, let’s see…” She furrows her eyebrows, biting her bottom lip. She periodically picks up one, reads the back, shakes her head, and puts it back. I’m about to just grab the closest on I see until she gives a triumphant “AHA!” that scares the hell out of me, and she strides to the counter. I’m about to shove her aside so I can pay, but she whips out her wallet and hands the cashier a five pound note. After getting her change back and the test handed back to us in a plastic shopping bag, she holds the door open for me and hands the bag to me. We walk down the street for a bit, talking and catching up on whatever I missed back home.

Her mom and dad came home after two weeks to Caitlin’s shock, and as soon as she told them about what I had done and where I was, her dad pretty much threw everything remaining in my bedroom out on the lawn and put a sign out that it was all for free. Everything was gone in five days. And then they didn’t ask about me anymore at all. Caitlin was sick of them. She yelled at them that they should give a fuck that I was gone, but they ignored her, carrying on with their lives as if I didn’t exist. When she tells me that, I simply shrug. Like I really had feelings for those two fuckers in the first place.

When we get back to Bonzo's, I walk into the kitchen, pour myself six glasses of water , and sit down at the table with the cups laid out in a line. Pat comes in and sees me pick up the first glass and start drinking. She raises an eyebrow. “What are you doing?”

I chug the first glass down in one go, and after wiping my mouth with the back of my hand, I say, “I don’t have to pee yet. So I’m speeding it up.”

She laughs. “You don’t have to drink so much water, you’ll be sick. Really, it’s best to just wait. You don’t have to take the test right away, love. You’ll just stress yourself out. Just do it when you feel like you want to and when you’re ready. Okay?”

I sigh. “Sorry for wasting so much water.”

“You can just put them in the fridge and people can grab them when they feel like it. Don’t worry, alright?”

I nod, thank her, and get up, going outside to help Robert’s Maureen sort out the kids, who are fighting over who gets to ride with Bonzo in one of his cars.

* * *

**Two Hours Later**

 I’m in the middle of sitting on the living room couch reading an old issue of _Creem_ when I have to go. I throw the magazine down on the couch and run to find Caitlin, and ask her for the box. She throws it to me, and as soon as it’s in my hands, I’m in the bathroom. And then I look at the box, and I say to myself, “How the actual fuck does this shit work?”

The directions are kind of vague. They tell me to get three drops into a glass tube, add whatever is in a plastic vial into it, swirl it around for ten seconds, and then wait for two more hours to see if a circle is on the bottom. I sigh. “Well, _this_ is going to be a fucking adventure. How did I even get into this?”

It’s awkward to get what I need, because I have to get it into a dropper, which just grosses me out. How did women get through this? Then again, it’s really not that different than 2015. Well, besides the dropper, mixing, and waiting, but close enough. And then, after I victoriously have three drops, I’m stuck. It’d be really awkward to have this thing sitting out on a table for two hours for the world to see. So I stick my head out the bathroom door and call for Pat.

“Where should I put it? Without it being, like, weird?”

She shrugs. “Outside, I guess? Somewhere the kids can’t reach it, though. That, or upstairs in your and Jimmy’s room.”

“Thanks!” I grab everything that I need in both arms, using my left foot to flush and my right elbow to open the bathroom door. I hurry upstairs, and once I’m in, I start talking to myself like the unmedicated ADHD 18 year old that I am, with two voices going back and forth; Sane Julia and Bitchy Julia.

“Okay, now we have to just use this dropping thingy. One…Two…Three…Hhaha, yes! Perfect.”

_“Well, how are you going to deal with what’s left? Didn’t think of that, did you?”_

“Shut up. Okay…plastic vial…Check! Putting the stuff in…What is this?”

_“Something science-y. Duh.”_

“Ugh, can I just do this without you being a bitch?”

_“I’m you, man, you can control what I say.”_

“Oh, yeah. Forgot. Anyway…Okay, got that stuff in. Swirling it for ten seconds.”

_“Hey, do you think that our mom had to do this?”_

“No, she had what we’re used to. The easy ones.”

_“Oh, yeah. Forty year difference.”_

“Who’s the idiot now? Okay, now I have to put it in the holder thing and wait for two hours. So we’ll come back up here at 7:58. Sweet.”

I stand up, go back downstairs, and ask Jonesy’s Maureen to tell me when it’s 7:58, and try to think of what to do for the next two hours. All that I can think of is going outside and doing _something._ I decide to think about what I have to do, what I have to change. I grab a pen and a notepad from the kitchen counter, go out, and sit on the grass. The first thing I write is _Save Karac._

* * *

 “Julia, it’s 7:55. Remember the thing.” I nod at the reminder. It’s after dinner, and I’m already going upstairs to get ready for bed. I take each step two at a time and run straight into the room Jimmy and I are staying in and turn on the light. I kneel in front of the nightstand, and I stop breathing for a second.

“Okay. Okay, Julia, just calm down. He’s okay with it. It’s fine, everything's fine.” My words don’t help me at all, so I yell, “Jimmy? Can you come here?”

I hear him coming up the stairs, and my heart beats faster and faster as his footsteps come closer. “What is it, Julia?”

He sees the kit in front of me, and I hear him say, “There’s a circle, isn’t there?”

I nod, and he sits down next to me, kisses the side of my head, and says softly, “You know, we’ve gotten pretty far in the past month. You introduced me to your parents however horrible they may be, we went on dates, you came here to live with me, we love each other, and you’re going to have my child. And I feel like we should take the next logical step after all of that. If you want to, of course.”

I think about it, and I can just tell that it’s not only logical, but a way to stay with him. If someone found out that I was carrying his child without being married to him, God knows what would happen. So I nod. “Yeah, I want to. I know.”

He smiles and holds me in his arms, and I melt against him, fully aware that I just changed history.

* * *

 May 4th, 1975

I wake up with a gasp, jolting upright and breathing like I’ve just run a marathon. My heart’s still pounding from the aftereffects of the nightmare I’ve just had, but I can’t even remember what it was even about. All I can really remember is the feeling that it was about my mom, my real mom, the one I left behind. I get up out of bed and wrap my naked body in a blanket on the floor, going downstairs and making myself a cup of tea in the kitchen. My hands don’t stop shaking, though, and I try to steady them by fiddling with the ring on my left hand.

Jimmy bought it for me in London the day after I said yes, and gave it to me when he got back to Bonzo’s house. I fell in love with it; A gold band that, at a glance, seemed simple and plain, but really was studded with diamonds the size of a pinhead all around the middle. Of course, when it fit perfectly, Bonzo had to make a joke that Jimmy must have felt my fingers enough to know them really well. Which had made me blush so red that my cheeks were burning as if from a sunburn.

And then the girls had helped me to figure out what I would wear and when the wedding should be, before I would start to show or at least when it was barely noticeable, so either before or really shortly after the 25th. Which, coincidentally, was the last day of the band’s concerts at Earls Court. I still try to wrap my head around the idea that I’m going to marry Jimmy Page in less than a month, start my to-do list by preventing a car accident in only three months, and give birth in December to a child that wasn’t even supposed to exist. And then I realize that, if my mom is looking for me -which she undoubtedly is- will she see pictures of her daughter with James Page in 1975, marrying him and holding his child, her grandchild? My head starts to feel light, and I burst into tears at the thought of her not being able to be with me, unable to help me through a pregnancy I never even knew would happen.

I don’t know when I go to sleep, but when I wake up it’s morning. I’m back in bed, listening to the sounds of Scarlet talking to her father and his voice carrying up to me, saying “Because Julia is very special to me, and she’s going to be the mum of your new brother or sister. And I know that you love her, too, Scarlet. We all love her. Are you okay with her being your stepmum?”

I smile at the small voice that follows, a small “Yes, Daddy, it’s okay.” It makes me feel a little bit more stable. I need it.

\--------------------

 May 4th, 2015

Catherine stopped checking the papers for anything about her missing daughter. The police gave up in late April, Catherine along with them. But something in the back of her head told her that she should check one more time, to see if anything has come up. And what she found on that May afternoon after typing in the name “Julia Emerson” into Google made her heart jump and her head ache. The first thing that came up was a picture of a young girl in a white dress and James Patrick Page, their arms around each other’s waists as they smiled happily at the camera with the caption, _18 year old_ _Julia Page (née Emerson) and Led Zeppelin guitarist Jimmy Page, shortly after their wedding on May 30 th, 1975. _Catherine clicked on another link directly under the picture, and an interview with Julia and Jimmy came up. A video, taken on June 17th, 1975.

She felt her heart speed up as she heard the girl speak. She had the exact same voice as her own Julia, the same laugh. Then the interviewer turned to the seventeen year old, and said, “So, Julia. You and Jimmy told the world on the tenth that you’re expecting a child. What everyone is wondering, how did a girl from Seattle end up with one of the most famous men in the music world?”

The girl shrugged and said, “Well, it’s a long story. The day after my birthday, my sister Caitlin took me to see the band at the Coliseum on March 21st. She works there, so I got to go backstage. And then he opened the door and…I fell in love as soon as he looked at me. We ended up leaving to go to England together as soon as the North America tour wrapped up in LA, and…Well, the rest is history.”

“I’m sure your parents weren’t all that thrilled.”

Julia seemed to tense up a bit, and smiled. “I dunno. My mom…she’s not here. I miss her a lot, but I just…I want her to know that I’m happy. If she ever ends up seeing this.”

Catherine felt tears welling up in her eyes, and as soon as the girl who was exactly like her daughter told the interviewer the date of the child’s estimated birth date, the desperate mother looked up the date and almost choked on her own breath. The child, a daughter, was named Catherine Elizabeth Page, the name explained by Julia as a “homage to my mom, who had the same name.” Catherine could only think of one thing, without a doubt in her mind.

This Julia, the one that married a rock star and had his child, _was_ her own Julia.


	10. Chapter 10

10:30 AM, May 30th, 1975

I’m standing in a large circular room in London, situated in a large luxury hotel that I bet is probably still up and running in 2015. There’s a French woman fiddling with the hem of my wedding dress, two of her assistants adding finishing touches to the angel sleeves that float down my arms. I feel like a human doll, to be honest. I’ve been standing up for dress maintenance and sitting down for makeup and hair styling so much that my feet are already hurting. Which sucks, because I’ll be standing up for about ten hours more to get married, dance, and be with people I don’t know at all. All while acting like this is actually something that shouldn’t be a surprise. But hell, today is going to change history, so any amount of normalcy I can try to muster is probably taking a vacation on Mars right now.

“Armelle, Michelle _, donne-elle sa voilette, nous avons quatre minutes pour finir._ _Allez_ !” The girls rush over to a long table, which had previously been covered by beauty products and fabric, but is now home to my veil, a comb with a long strip of light tulle with lace hand sewn onto the bottom. The girl named Armelle, the epitome of a French model with wavy dirty blonde hair, blue eyes and pout shaped mouth, grabs the long piece of fabric and snaps back in rapid French, “ _Madame, il y a trente minutes avant le mariage, il n’y a pas du temps pour la voilette!_ _Michelle et moi, nous allons le mettre sur ses cheveux quand nous arrivons à l’église._ ” I feel my heart speed up as they hurry me out the door into the hallway, where there’s a group of guys hired by Peter Grant to get me safely to the church in Epsom where Jimmy is waiting for me. A large built man with intimidating arms, wearing a black tee and tinted sunglasses, hands me a Mod-ish parka, and I literally don’t use my arms to put the thing on. The French girls shove it on me, all perfection and dress work be damned. Armelle still has the veil wrapped around her arm, and the guards form a circle around me and the girls as we go into an elevator, out into the lobby, and to a waiting limo.

I feel almost numb as the car gets closer to the Epsom church that has been reserved just for this occasion. Inside, I’ll have to say ‘I do’ in front of Led Zeppelin and their wives and their children; Scarlet and possibly her bitch of a mother; Jimmy’s parents (I met them at the start of May to get that part out of the way, and I was relieved when they both liked me); Caitlin and her boyfriend (the guy she had met the first night I had been with Jimmy); a ton of famous musicians and family friends; and, after some hard-ass persuasion on my sister’s side, her parents. And I’m more nervous than I’ve ever been in my life. I’m just starting to show, and I really hope that my dress is loose enough to cover it up. Although I had gotten it fitted to have room for a few weeks of growing, I was still really anxious. What if someone noticed before Jimmy and I were ready to tell the public about the baby? Everyone would just assume that we got married because I got pregnant. I mean, although it was pretty much the reason that we are getting married, it’d make him look like a dick, and make me look like a desperate bitch. Which would suck.

I don’t realize that I’m literally about to walk down the aisle until Caitlin’s dad stands next to me and links his arm with mine. He’s in a tuxedo that looks rea

lly weird on him, but I don’t care. He tucks a strand of loose hair behind my ear, and he forces a smile. “I hope…um, that you’re happy with…with him. How old is he, again?”

“31. Don’t be mean to him, alright? I love him. He’s gonna be your son-in-law.”

He clears his throat. “Ah. Well…okay, honey. I’ll try. But just remember that he’s probably going to cheat on you when he’s away.”

I just ignore him and let Caitlin, who is my maid of honor, lift the top layer of my veil up and over my head to cover my face. I take a deep breath and smile as Carmen walks down the aisle, strewing flowers on the ground and just reveling in the attention she’s getting. She looks beautiful; she’s wearing a lavender dress made by her mother, with Bishop-style sleeves, the hemline just above her white tight covered knees. Her waist length hair that’s almost exactly like her father’s is tied back in a long braid that swings as she walks, and every row she passes takes audible gasps and scattered comments on her looks. The girls follow her, then Caitlin, and then I’m ushered forwards by Caitlin’s dad. Despite the hush that falls over the assembly and the eyes that widen, the mouths that drop open, and the turning of bodies as soon as they see me, all I pay attention to, the only person I really only notice, is Jimmy. It’s the first time I’ve ever seen him in a tuxedo, and he looks absolutely amazing. His eyes are locked on mine, and he looks like he’s just seen the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen.

As I reach Jimmy and hand Caitlin my bouquet, my hands start to shake so hard, I feel like they’ll fall off. But then Jimmy takes them in a tight grip, and I can feel the calloused fingertips of his right hand stroke the back of my hand, the roughness contrasting with the softness of his left hand. I smile and tilt my head up so I can make eye contact with him. Even in the 3 inch heels I’m wearing, I still only reach the tip of his nose. While the priest is talking, he whispers, “You look like you just came down from heaven, because God, you look stunning.” I simply nod, look down, and know that I’m the only one who can see the almost invisible form of my slightly swollen middle.

* * *

May 30th, 2015

Catherine had been continuously searching pictures on Google of her daughter, and each day, she found new ones. Pictures from magazines, interviews, photoshoots, paparazzi, leaked photos. On the 30th, she searched for her daughter’s wedding. She scrolled down, smiling at how perfect Julia looked. Her dark brown hair pulled up in a braided bun, a long veil trailing down from her head, an ivory dress with sleeves that flared out probably three inches from both sides of the wrist and a skirt that seemed to flow like water down to the floor. There was one of Julia laughing into Jimmy Page’s shoulder, her face red. Another of her with a girl named Caitlin, arms wrapped around each other’s waists. One of her and Jimmy embracing with their lips locked, but smiles visible at the corners.

Catherine didn’t stop going through each picture until duplicates started popping up, and sat at her desk for a few minutes, wondering what to search for next. She bit her lip, and sat up straighter in her chair, her fingers hesitating over the keyboard before she typed ‘Julia Page Jimmy Page daughter.’ There was the video, the interview from July, 1975. But there was a new one. ‘Home Video of Jimmy and Julia Page, Christmas, 1975.’

Catherine clicked, and she couldn’t help crying at the blurry 8mm film.

Julia carrying a pink bundle into a house, Scarlet Page running alongside her. Jimmy holding their daughter, smiling as he said, “It’s her first Christmas. God, she’s so small…” The film skipped to

Scarlet holding the baby while sitting on a sofa, and Julia said from behind the camera, “Scarlet, what do you think of being a big sister?”

“I’m really happy! She’s like a Christmas gift!”

Julia laughed, and Catherine could hear the grin on her daughter’s face. The film skipped. Scarlet was opening presents in front of the brightly lit Christmas tree, while Julia sat next to her with the baby on her lap. This continued for another three minutes, but by the end, Catherine was out of tears.

* * *

August 4th, 1975

It’s common knowledge that I’m going to have Jimmy’s baby. We told everyone two weeks after our wedding, but left out that it happened before we got married. Each passing week, however, through the happiness and anxiety of my imminent motherhood, I was absolutely terrified. Each day marked the approach of the first item on my ‘to-do list,’ preventing the car accident in Greece which would put Robert in a wheelchair for the latter part of 1975.

And that day, I realize upon waking up, is today. In late September I insisted that I go to Greece with them, and spent most of my time with the kids or walking around Athens. But now we’re on the island of Rhodes, and as soon as noon comes and goes, I’m practically shaking. I know that the crash happens this afternoon, but I don’t know when. So I plan to go everywhere with them, and when Maureen volunteers to drive, I’ll get in the driver’s seat before her so she’ll have to be in the back.

My opportunity to change Led Zeppelin history comes at 5:34. Maureen grabs her purse and shouts over her shoulder, “Oi, you lot, you wanted to go to the beach, right? Come on, I’ll dr-” Despite being 5 months gone, I sprint straight past Maureen, grabbing the car keys out of her hand and laughing triumphantly. I’m at the car when the rest of them catch up, sitting in the driver’s seat feeling like the queen of the world. I go over what I’ve changed in my head. The August-September tour is still on. Robert won’t record ‘Achille’s Last Stand’ while sitting in a wheelchair, and Maureen won’t be injured to the verge of death. The kids won’t be hurt. Thank God.

No one asks any questions as they all pile up in the car, except for the occasional “Does anyone have to go to the loo?” and “Did you pack dinner if we end up staying for longer?” When everything is taken care of and seatbelts fastened, I start the car. I reverse out of the parking spot, and as I pull out of the lot, I say, “Hey, Robert, would you mind telling me the directions? I forgot.”

Maureen pipes up from the backseat. “I know how, Jules, so why did you want to drive?”

“Because I just had a feeling that I should drive. Not to be rude or anything, Mo. I don’t know.”

She sighs in annoyance, but I just ignore it and turn when Robert tells me to. But as we approach a heavily forested area with an extremely narrow road, I slow down to half the speed limit, my heart beating so hard in my chest I can feel the blood rushing through my veins, the pulse of my heart moving my whole torso.

My child can tell I’m nervous, kicking my innards in response to the changes in my breathing, my pulse. I take a deep breath as I turn a corner, and see a large tree at the end of a straight stretch of road. My eyes widen, and it dawns on me that this tree, this road, is where the accident would have happened had I not snatched the keys and put myself in the driver’s seat. When we reach the end of the tree shaded roadway, I start laughing, and I can’t stop. I pull over, and without saying anything, switch places with Robert. I’m laughing so hard, tears are streaking down my cheeks, and I know I’m going to hyperventilate. Because, if I had been in the backseat, I know for a fact that I’d probably not have my child in December. The baby kicks more now, and I place my hands below and on top of the bump. I try to slow down my breathing, and run my hands all along my middle, and the baby slows down, leaving me with the sensation that I’ve just been internally pummeled by a professional boxer. I’m exhausted.

I spend the rest of the afternoon lounging on a beach towel, occasionally getting up to wade in the blue-green water or to build a sandcastle with one of the kids. But I’m probably the most excited when we end up at the hotel at the end of the day, with no airlifts to England, no broken bones, and no wheelchair bound Robert.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those of you who don't speak French, here's the translation:  
> "Armelle, Michelle, give her her veil, we have four minutes to finish. Hurry!"  
> "Madame, there's thirty minutes before the wedding, there's no time for the veil! Michelle and I will put it in her hair when we get to the church."
> 
> Okay, so per request by my best friend, the next chapter is DEFINITELY going to get really heavy. Just saying. NO SPOILERS! :)


	11. Chapter 11

August 21th, 1975

I’m sitting in a windowed alcove near the back of Jimmy’s house, leaning against the wall and resting a copy of _Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy_ in the crease at the top of my baby bump. I hear Jimmy coming towards my hideaway, and keep on reading when he sits across from me and strums a G chord. I smile to myself as he starts playing a song, and put the book down when he says, “It’s for you, I’m thinking of playing it when the next tour starts.” I bite my lip and watch him carefully. He clears his throat, and starts singing.

_We didn’t know what we were doing,_

_We didn’t know how it would go._

_But when you told me that you loved me,_

_I knew I wanted you for sure._

_You healed my problems with your smile,_

_Gave me love, yourself a while._

_Take my hand, and by my side,_

_We’ll take the world in stride_

_Oh, Julia._

He plays a soft solo, the notes sounding like love in audible form, travelling straight from my ears down to my very soul. He repeats the last part, and with a final G chord, looks back up at me. I can’t talk, but hold his hand and pull him towards me, kissing him. He puts his left hand on the small of my back and supports the rest of his body with his other arm while I bring his head closer to mine by grabbing the nape of his neck. His lips move with mine, slow at first, but then more frantic, full of heavy breaths and wandering hands. I tilt my head back so he can move to my neck, and laugh when his breath tickles the skin just over my pulse. He smiles into my neck, bites lightly, and says, “Maybe we can go further than this tonight, y’know? It feels like it’s been ages…”

I comb his black curls through my fingers and nuzzle my nose against the top of his head. “Sure. And it’s only been three days. Are you that desperate?” He pushes himself up so he’s hovering over me.

“Oi, I’m not desperate, I just love it when you say my name in that high voice you get whenever I hit that one spot. I could listen to it forever, Julia, that’s how hot it is.”

I smirk and nod. “Tonight, I promise. Okay?”

Jimmy gets up off of me and says over his shoulder, “Make it worth it, babe, I’ll not see you for two months.”

“Don’t worry, I will.”

* * *

 It’s ten at night when Jimmy comes into our room after putting Scarlet to sleep. I’m sitting up in bed, wearing one of his shirts and a pair of shorts. He closes the door, takes off his dark blue jacket, and sits on the side of our bed. He had been down in London for an interview for most of the afternoon, leaving the Inverness home just after he had played my song for me. He came back up to Scarlet and me at around nine at night, and I know he hasn’t forgotten what I agreed to do that morning. He lays down on his back, resting his head on my lower legs and holding my right hand. “What’d you do today?”

“Scarlet and I went down to Edinburgh, went shopping for a few hours and came back for dinner at the Craigdarroch Inn in the village. She wanted me to ask you if you can get her a mini guitar and teach her how to play, she just decided she wants to be like you.”

He unbuttons and takes off his shirt, starts to unbuckle his pants. “I’ll see if I can get one for her when we’re on tour. You remember when I’m coming back, yeah?”

“October 25th. I have it written down already.”

Once his flares are off and on the floor, he looks over his shoulder at me, a smirk forming on his face. “Julia, why are you still reading, babe? Come ‘ere.”

“Let me finish this chapter. That I just started.”

He lays down so his head is resting on my thighs. “Julia, please, you promised. I’m leaving tomorrow, remember? You can read tomorrow.”

I grin and turn the page, suppressing giggles that threaten to come out. He looks absolutely helpless. “It’s really good, just a minute.”

“Ugh, no, now.”

“Let me finish this chapter or I won’t fuck you.”

He sits up and I see him make his thinking face, and he bites his lip and grins, one corner of his mouth higher than the other. He runs a hand up my leg, up to the sensitive skin in between my thighs, so close to where he wants to be. I try to keep my breath steady, but the feeling of his calloused fingers against the smooth surface makes my inhales come in shaky, soft gasps.

“I’ll make you feel so good, Jules, I’ll make you so happy. Put the bloody book down.” I look up and stare straight into his eyes, throw the book on the floor, fling my arms around his neck, and kiss him. He holds the sides of my head, holding me still, his lips hard and eager against mine like he’s kissing me for the first time. My heart pounds in my chest, and the baby kicks. Jimmy pulls away and chuckles. “Shagging in front of the baby. Isn’t that a bit strange?”

I don’t say anything, just make a small noise and force his mouth back to mine, biting his lower lip and getting a soft growl in response. Jimmy moves his left hand from my head and slips it under my shirt, teasing me to the point that I’m gasping. He stops after a minute, eases my underwear off and puts it at the foot of the bed, and lets me relax a bit before laying down on his back so I can be on top. I slip his briefs down to his knees, and when he lays his hands on my waist, I go down so easy, he’s all the way in. He moans, and then laughs. “Fuck, Jules, I wasn’t expecting you to be that ready.” I start moving along the length of him, saying in a high voice, “Yeah, well, it’s what happens when you’re…oh, fuck…when you’re knocked up…”

After, when I’m off of him and he’s almost asleep, I whisper, “Jimmy, promise me you won’t do it when you’re gone.”

“Mmhmm?”

“Don’t shoot up while you’re gone, okay?”

“M’alright…” He’s asleep.

* * *

 

I’m dragged from my dream of extremely graphic Destiel smut by the bed moving beside me. I yawn, squeezing my eyes shut and stretching my legs out. I feel the light touch of Jimmy’s lips on my forehead, smile, and open my eyes. He’s already dressed to leave, a suitcase near the bedroom door. He runs a hand through my hair, and whispers, “I’ll miss you. I’ll see you in October, alright?” I nod, my eyes closing on their own accord. He chuckles and presses his lips to mine for a few seconds, and then he’s gone, his suitcase rolling down the hallway with him. I fall asleep with the noise of him leaving still in my ears.

I wake up again after what feels like five seconds, but really was about six hours. Scarlet is next to me, curled up by my side, looking as perfect as an angel. I get out of bed as carefully as possible, and she only whimpers and turns in her sleep. I go downstairs, down to the guitar room. Jimmy packed his double neck, the custom Les Paul, the blue Fender Tele, and a Martin acoustic, so I settle on the Takamine acoustic guitar he bought me after our wedding (along with a bright red Fender Stratocaster). I open up a book of chords, try to figure out what sounds good as a song. As I’m fiddling with barre chords, Scarlet comes in and goes straight to her mini acoustic.

“Julia, can you teach me a song?”

“D’you know _Bad Moon Rising_?”

She shrugs, so I play it for her, singing along. She watches my fingers with intense focus, and when I finish, she tried to copy me. The fast transition from the A to the D makes her whine, and I see her father’s personality coming out. She repeats the transition countless times, starting over whenever she gets it wrong, shaking her head and staring at her fingers. I tap my foot to the beat, and after about a half hour, she’s got it down. She looks up at me nervously, and I smile. “You got it. I’ll sing along, and you play. Do you want me to play, too?”

She nods, and we have to start over a few times, but she gets it after another thirty minutes. The sound of satisfaction that she does when she gets to the end makes me laugh because of how similar it is to Jimmy, and she puts her guitar down next to her. She crosses her legs.

“Julia? Can you play _Tangerine_?”

“Okay, but then we have to eat.”

We end up staying down there until it’s lunch.

The phone rings during dinner, and Scarlet jumps out of her chair to answer. She yells, “Julia, it’s for you! It’s your sister!”

I pick it up, and as soon as I say “Hey, Caitlin.”

She cries, “DUDE, JACOB PROPOSED TO ME! The guy from the concert in March? Yeah, I’m getting married in April!”

I squeal congratulations, and then she says, “Okay, listen up. I was wondering if you want to visit me on the 24th to the 30th, there’s a Led Zep concert at the Coliseum on the 28th. Jimmy already sent me and Jacob free tickets, so if you wanna come, you can. They’ll let you in, being his wife and all.”

I nod. “Yeah, sure, that’d be sweet! See you, Cait.”

“Wait, wait, Jules, I just wanted to ask you if it’s a boy or a girl.”

“It’s a girl.”

“Name her after me!”

“I’m gonna name her Catherine. Catherine Elizabeth.”

“Huh, I guess that works, too. Anyway, see you on the 24th!”

Scarlet says from the dinner table, “Julia, can I stay with Auntie Maureen when you’re in Seattle?”

“Sure. I’ll call her and ask.”

* * *

 

4:30 PM, August 24th, 1975

I get off the airplane at Sea-Tac airport, and as soon as I leave the gate entrance, Caitlin runs at me, hugging me so hard, I have to gasp, “Caitlin, I have lungs.”

She lets go of me and can’t stop smiling. “It’s so good to see you! How’s everything?”

“Good, I forgot my all access pass at home. The roadies this time are pretty hard ass, Jimmy called and told me.”

She grabs her fiancé’s hand, pulls him over, and introduces him. We shake hands awkwardly, and he clears his throat. “We should probably get outta here, go home.” Caitlin nods and turns to me.

“I moved out of Mom and Dad’s house last month and moved in with Jacob, he lives down in Lakewood.”

After we walk through the airport and the parking garage -which is so different from the Sea-Tac that I’m used to, I feel lost- we pile into Jacob’s car and start the almost 2 hour drive to Lakewood. They ask me questions about England and the band, from how many times I’ve gone to London, to what the boys are like in person. Caitlin gives her input on that, and I can hear the jealousy in Jacob’s voice when he says, “That’s pretty sweet.” Caitlin laughs and kisses his cheek at a red light.

“Don’t worry, maybe we can go visit them in England for Christmas.”

Jacob smiles, and I can just see from his face and the shine in Cait’s eyes that they are absolutely perfect for each other.

We get to their apartment in downtown Lakewood at 6:47, and Jacob insists on putting my stuff in the guest room I’ll be sleeping in as Caitlin shows me around their home. They order Chinese takeout from a little family run joint down the street, and when Jacob leaves to buy it, Caitlin pulls me down to sit cross legged with her on the floor in front of their record player.

“Okay,” she smirks, “tell me about you and Jimmy.”

“What do you mean? Oh. Dude, no!”

“Dude, yes! I don’t know what he’s like! You’re not my sister, after all, so it’s not like it’s awkward or anything.”

I stare at her in shock. “How did you know?”

She throws her head back and laughs. “Come on. The Julia I know would have screamed and ran the other way as soon as she saw Jimmy Page in person. You just flirted with him! And she would have gone to a concert wearing her jeans and a regular shirt so she didn’t look like an insane fan, and you wore shorts and a Led Zep shirt. And she would DEFINITELY not swear at our parents or fuck Jimmy Page or leave home to live with him after knowing him for only two days. I gotta say, you look exactly like her, it’s crazy. I mean, I’m still wondering what happened to Jules, but I like you, too.”

“Well…I wasn’t expecting to hear that…But I really do think you’re awesome. I wish you were really my sister.”

“Yeah. Anyway, tell me. How is he in bed? I always thought he’d be really hard and fast, but that’s just me.”

“Oh, my God, stop.”

“Tell me! I want to know! I swear by the power of the Golden God that I won’t tell anyone.”

I think about it for a bit, and then sigh. “Okay, fine. Jesus. So you know I wore shorts, right? To the concert?”

She nods.

“I went backstage after the show, and we made out for a while- he’s a really good kisser, by the way- and I went back to the Edgewater with him. And on the way there, he…Well, I’ll just say his fingers are really good at what they do. And when we got to the hotel, he kissed me pretty much breathless, but he did it really slow and took his time to make it feel really good for me. It was…I can’t describe it.

“In L.A. we’d do it hard. We were in the Riot House, and girls screaming and people fucking there is pretty normal. But what I love about him is that he’ll just hold me after and fall asleep like that. I never get tired of waking up in the morning and feeling him so close to me…I can’t get enough of him.”

Caitlin’s smiling and says, “That’s actually really cute, wow. So he’s super awesome in bed, then?”

“Yeah.”

“What’s his dick like?”

“OH MY GOD, CAITLIN!” We both start laughing, and Jacob opens the door to us basically dying on the floor, gasping for breaths and tears running down our faces from laughing so hard. He rolls his eyes. “I’m not even gonna ask.”

Caitlin giggles. “Good, because it’s a thing between us, so yeah.”

I hug her, and beam. “You’re the best, Caitlin, d’you know that?”

She scoffs. “Duh, I let you leave home to live with Jimmy Page, of course I’m the best!”

* * *

 

8:00, August 28th, 1975 

I’m in the front row with Caitlin and Jacob at the Coliseum, talking and laughing with the people around us. It surprises me how the Washington state mentality of “everyone’s a person so you’re pretty chill” hasn’t changed at all; Although most of the people recognize me, they treat me like a normal human, telling me how they got into the band, their favorite album, and a few don’t talk about the boys, but rather talk about their lives or ask about me. One girl who looks a bit like Hailee Steinfeld as a twenty one year old tells me how the band basically saved her life, how she was about to take an entire bottle of pills when _Thank You_ came on the radio and made her stop herself. I smile, and say, “I’ll tell the boys about that. I’ll see if I can get one of them to call you or something.”

She looks as happy as a kid on Christmas who just got the present they wanted since June, and hugs me. “Oh, my God, thank you so much!”

Then, a man comes on stage and gives almost the same speech as he did in March. “Okay, we’d appreciate if you guys don’t light anything because we’ll have to turn the…house lights on, and, uh, we’ve been here a long time setting up the show and we don’t want to, uh, we don’t want to mess with the concert with the house lights, it’d ruin the show, so please, no…lighted matches, no smoking on the floor. So think about the other people around you. So, just do those …do those things for us, and we’ll have a nice, long show. Now, here’s Led Zeppelin.”

The entire crowd screams with the energy of an atomic bomb, and the baby kicks so hard, I feel my skin move. I yell to Caitlin, “Dude, she just got scared from the sound!”

Caitlin laughs, and turns to Jacob. “My niece is probably going to be born with hearing issues!”

I watch the shadows of the band move onstage, and everyone only gets louder. I feel my heart speed up with each sound they make in the darkness, the drums, random guitar notes, and then the lights burst on with the beginning of Rock N’ Roll. I see Jimmy, and my smile immediately turns into a look of shock.

He’s wearing the poppy suit, and he’s swaying like he’ll fall over at any second. As the concert goes on, he starts to stumble over the notes, missing notes that he’s always gotten right. During _Stairway_ , he messes up the solo. During _Kashmir_ , he goes into major when it’s minor, messes up chords. Caitlin sees my face.

“Hey, Jules, are you alright?”

I shake my head. “I don’t know. I don’t think so. Fuck, Jimmy, what happened to you…” When they’re about to go offstage to let Bonzo do _Moby Dick_ , Jimmy sees me. He stops walking for a second, and he looks as shocked as I do. Like he’s panicking. I can’t do anything but look at him with eyes that just ask why, and then he turns around and follows his band members. He doesn’t look at me for the rest of the concert.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So my best friend was the first reader of this and she almost hit me. Especially when she read what I'm going to do for the next chapter.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one's pretty short since I haven't had that much time on my hands because of college apps and shit. I hope you all like it!

October 25th, 1975

I’m at the house in Inverness playing with Scarlet on the living room floor when the front door opens. The four year old jumps up, a huge smile lighting up her eyes, and when Jimmy rounds the corner, she goes straight to him, launching herself into his arms. My fear of him relapsing seems confirmed just seeing him up close; his cheeks are slightly sunken in, his fingers thinner, his arms bonier. I try to put a smile on my face when he kisses me, but when he pulls away, he sees the amount of effort it’s taking me. So I just decide to flat out hint that I know about it by saying, “So I saw you guys in Seattle. You seemed really tired. I noticed the new suit. When did you get it? I liked the flower on it. Must be symbolic or something.”

He gets it right away, and says back, “Don’t worry, Julia, I’m fine.” He stresses the last word way more than he should, and Scarlet notices. She looks from me to her father, sees the way we’re staring each other down, and asks, “What’s wrong? Daddy, Julia, what is it?” Jimmy turns his head and kisses her cheek. “Nothing, love. Go into the kitchen, I got you some things.” He sets her back down on the floor, and when she’s out of earshot he hisses, “We’ll talk later.”

“Damn right, we will.”

He pushes past me, leaving me in the living room so he can go out to Scarlet and act like everything’s perfect.

I want to scream.

Instead, I go up to our room after he goes down to the guitar room with Scarlet. His suitcase is on our bed, and the first thing I see when I open it is the poppy suit. I lift it up. Normal clothes. I lift up layer after layer until I get to the bottom. I swear as quietly as I can, despite the anger that’s boiling up inside of me. There’s all of the things I thought he wouldn’t ever have. A needle, a rubber cord, and a few bags of white powder. I grab it all as carefully as I possibly can and put it on the nightstand. I sit on the end of our bed, staring at the door and feeling like my heart is going to fail out of anger. I keep a straight face the entire time.

* * *

_10:00 PM_

As soon as Jimmy comes into our room after putting Scarlet to sleep, I stand up from the foot of our bed, motioning to the bedside table. He flows my finger to his paraphernalia and back to me. “Julia-”

“Explain. Tell me why you decided to fucking start it again.”

“I was just stressed, Julia, I’ll stop.”

I laugh so bitterly, he visibly flinches, but I don't care. He deserves it. “Wow, that’s funny, can you tell me why you decided that doing heroin was a good way to deal with that?”

“Fucking hell, Jules, I didn’t mean to do it for long!”

“Then why did you even bring it with you? What would happen if she saw you doing it? Jesus, you’re selfish!”

“ _I’m_ being selfish? You’re just here because of a one night stand!”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?! I’m here because I fucking love you! I thought you did, too!”

“I do, but not when you’re being a bitch. Like you are right now.”

I throw my hands up in the air. “I could just…What happened to you?!”

“I wanted to do my own thing! Can’t you just leave it alone?”

“No, I can’t! How can I leave this alone?”

“By minding your fucking business!”

My hand flies across his face so hard, his head turns and my palm stings. But I don’t care.

“It IS my business! I’m your WIFE! We swore to help each other! Or did you just say that so you could fuck me more and justify getting me pregnant?”

I don’t expect the sting of his hand as it makes contact with my face, don’t expect his hands to grab my shoulders with an iron grip. My anger is suddenly replaced by raw fear; his face is contorted with rage as he shakes me.

“I DID LOVE YOU! I couldn’t stop myself! It was there, and I did it! You’re acting like a fucking cop interrogating me, so shut up and leave it be! I have it under control, so you can just fuck off!”

I twist out of his grip, and as my vision blurs, I yell, “Get out! Get out of this house!”

“FUCK YOU!”

“BASTARD!”

He gives a final yell as he slams the bedroom door, and then I hear the front door bang shut. I stand up, stumble to the phone by the nightstand, and dial Robert’s phone. He answers.

“Hello?”

“It’s Julia.”

He hears the strain of my voice as I cry, and he says, “Are you alright? What’s wrong?

“It’s…It’s Jimmy, Robert. I don’t know if you know, but he’s using again.” 

* * *

October 26, 1975

The next morning, I wake up abruptly, a loud smash of something breaking echoing throughout the house. I can tell that it’s coming from downstairs, but instead of just going down, I get out of bed and look out of the bedroom window. I can see Robert and Bonzo’s cars in the driveway, frost on the windows like they have been there for hours. I go downstairs, follow the sound of another object breaking, and find the boys sitting around the dinner table. In their hands they all have cigarettes smoldering, sending a blue haze of smoke up to gather at the ceiling. The door to the library is shut and locked from the outside, and I can hear heavy breathing and groaning on the other side.

“Hey, Julia,” the boys mumble in unison when I sit down with them. There’s a loud thud against the door, and Jimmy moans, “Julia, lemme out, babe, I want you with me. It hurts. I need you.” I sigh.

“Sorry, honey, but I don’t think I can look at you after what you did to me. I’m sorry, Jimmy…”

He slams what I can only assume is his fist on the door. “Fucking hell, Julia, let me out! I _hate_ it in here! _Let me the fuck out!_ ”

I don’t move, just sit in my seat as the rest of the band looks at me with worried eyes as Jimmy goes on.

“If you don’t open the bloody door, I’m gonna break it down, I swear! Do you hear me?! _Let me out or I’ll leave you!_ ”

Robert shouts from the table, “Shut the hell up, Jimmy, she’s still here, if you’ve not noticed. Anyone else would have left you, but she hasn’t so just leave her be.”

“You love her, huh, mate!? Why don’t you take her for yourself?!”

“SHUT UP, JIMMY!” I yell a lot louder than I mean to, and the space around the dining table (and the library door) reverberates silence. I stand up and rest my head against the door. “I’m gonna come in, alright? I’ll help you again. I’ll stay with you, Jimmy. But if you say anything like that to me again, I’m going to leave. Seriously. I’ll leave and take Scarlet and go back home, or leave her with Charlotte and go back to live with Cait.” He’s absolutely quiet, so I look back to Robert, who nods, and unlock the door, sliding my way in so Robert can close it and lock it behind me.

Jimmy looks like absolute shit. His hair is a tangled mess, the whites of his eyes are bloodshot, and he’s hunched over and moaning. I sigh and hold him in my arms. “Be honest with me. How many times a day would you use it?”

“Four. Five after Seattle.”

I kiss his forehead and run his matted curls through my fingers. “Oh, Jimmy…What am I gonna do with you?” He doesn’t say anything, just grips the front of my shirt with a tight fist and digs his face into my chest.

“Julia…My Julia, my girl. I love you so much, baby, I love you so much…” His hand is on the bump that is our child, and I realize he’s talking to our daughter as he says the last sentence. I shake my head.

“If you love her so much, why’d you do it again? I want the truth, okay?”

He nods, and when he says, “I don’t know!” he breaks down and starts crying, each sob tearing me apart. I can’t think of anything else to do but hold him tighter, shushing him and stroking his head and letting his tears soak into my shirt. Jimmy starts telling me that he’s sorry, that he doesn’t know why he screamed at me and treated me like shit. My eyes well up with tears, but I don’t cry, I just let them fall down my cheeks, not saying anything until he’s done crying.

“It’s okay. I’m here. I’m here.”

* * *

 

A letter comes the next day from Jonesy’s house. Inside is a note from Scarlet to her father, hoping he gets better, wondering how he’s doing, asking how everyone else is. There’s also a drawing; Arrows point to the four stick figure people in front of a square house on a green crayon lawn. Jimmy is the tallest, of course, and his head is surrounded with black swirls down to the beginning of his arms. I’m next to him, holding a pink oval with a yellow dot at the end that Scarlet labels as “Sister.” She’s on the other side of Jimmy, her hand holding a star shaped purple flower. When I show them both to Jimmy, he smiles despite his intense detox induced pain, and says happily, “She’s gonna be an artist when she grows up. She gets it from me, y’know.”

I chuckle. “I know. Maybe Catherine will get your music skills.”

“Or your singing voice.”

I rub his back. “I dunno, I’m not-“

“Shut up, Jules, you sing like a bloody angel, alright? A lot better than me.”

“You’re good, too. I like your voice, it’s cute.”

“Yeah, cute. Not good. You’re good.”

He squeezes his eyes shut and groans, lying down on his back on the hardwood floor. I sit by his head and lift it up onto my lap, and bend over to kiss him. “It’s okay, babe, I’ve got you. I know it hurts, but remember that it’s your fault.”

He hears the sound of something breaking in the kitchen, followed by Bonzo muttering a “Fuck.”

“What was that?” Jimmy asks, the concern in his voice layering over the pain.

“The boys are searching the house for any more of it. Deep cleaning.”

Jimmy sighs. “Okay…Tell them to be careful in the guitar room, alright?”

“They know, don’t worry. Just rest, we’re all going to take care of you.”

He pouts and whines, “What if they fuck up my guitar room?”

I roll my eyes and say softly, “They won’t, don’t worry.”

There’s a knock on the door, and Jonesy pokes his head in. “Hey, Julia, umm…what should we do if we find something? Like needles or something? Throw it out or what?”

I shrug. “Sure. But just take the garbage out after you’re all done.” The bassist nods, the shuts and relocks the door. I look down at Jimmy, whose face is twisted with pain, teeth bared and eyes tightly closed. I smooth his hair and say, “You’re such a dumbass. Remember you did this to yourself.” He sniffs and starts crying.

“It hurts, Jules, I feel like I’m gonna die!”

I gather him up in my arms, holding his head against my chest and keeping an arm around him. “It’s gonna be okay, Jimmy,” I say, kissing the top of his head, “You’ll be safe with me, I promise.”


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I included Catherine's birth in this one. It's pretty short, but I like it. Hope you guys enjoy!

November 26, 2015

Catherine was still reeling from the fact that her only daughter had somehow been taken back forty years, but she had come to terms (only a bit) with it. If Julia was alright and happy, that was all that really mattered to her. She had started a tumblr account to organize every picture she found, only labelling the years which they were taken, but she didn’t mind. She wanted to know how Julia was doing.

But Thanksgiving was going to be hell this year. The Emerson family didn’t know about Catherine’s discovery; they all thought Julia had simply vanished or had even been killed, never to be seen again. So as Catherine set about the too quiet house baking and cooking with one less pair of hands at her side, she dreaded the night the family would come over, drowning her with words of “I’m so sorry” and “I can’t believe she’s gone.” Like Julia was dead. Like Julia was six feet under, wasting away into nothing. It was bullshit.

As it started to get darker outside, Catherine heard her sister’s car parking in the driveway. She untied the apron covering her light blue dress, and put on an exaggerated happy face when she opened the door. Her sister, Laura, handed her a small pumpkin pie before hugging her with one arm. “Hey, Kate, it’s great to see you! You look great!”

“Yeah, I’m feeling a lot better. Are mom and dad coming?”

“They’re in traffic on I-90, Maddie and John are stuck in it, too. There was a rollover on the bridge, KOMO said that the backup is at least an hour from Everett to Seattle.”

“Shit. Oh, well, that’s alright. Gives us more time to talk, right?”

Laura looked into the kitchen and sighed. “Honey, you didn’t have to go through all the trouble. You should really take a break.”

“I’m alright. It’s been almost nine months since she…you know…”

“Catherine, you’re stressed out. You have to take a break from work, you have to get yourself together.”

Catherine suddenly lashed out, all of her pent up frustration bursting. “I am perfectly alright, Laura! God dammit, none of you are listening to me! I’ve got myself together, I’m not going to let it drag me down for the rest of my fucking  life! I’m sick and tired of all of you talking to me like I’m emotionally distraught, because I’m not! I’m fine, and your fucking telling me to take a break is more annoying than anything right now!”

Laura stared at her older sister. “Wow,” she said, shaking her head, “You’re sort of fucked up.”

“Shut up, Laura! You don’t know what you all put me through!”

“You don’t have to scream.”

They spent the rest of that hour in silence, not one word of apology muttered.

* * *

November 27, 1975

I’m kind of shocked when the whole band – including Peter Grant and the girls - comes through the door at six at night, carrying various pots and trays radiating the smell of food into the house. Jimmy comes in behind them, smiling. “Happy Thanksgiving, love.”

I laugh. “Really? You got everyone to do this and didn’t tell me?”

He kisses me and says, “It was a surprise. We all wanted to do it, anyway. To be together again as a group. Well, more like a family. That’s what this holiday is for, right?”

I nod. “Yeah. That, and to honor a feast that ended up with some pilgrims killing a ton of Native Americans, but we don’t really talk about that. Anyways, thank you guys so much, this is great!”

Everyone goes into the kitchen and puts their food on the counter, removing tin foil and saran wrap covering pies, turkey, potatoes, everything normal to a Thanksgiving dinner. The kids all flock into the living room, where Scarlet shows them her new guitar the Jimmy gave her after the first one had a short and stopped working. The rest of us stay in the dining room, setting the table and talking about what we should do for Christmas since I might be in the hospital on Christmas Eve.

“If you’re in the hospital for all of Christmas, we can just wait until the 26th. Or have it before the 22nd, so we can get it out of the way and you can just be with Jimmy and the girls.” Pat looks around at us, shrugs. “It’s an idea. I think it makes sense.”

Robert nods. “Yeah. We’ll all visit her when she’s there, and giving them all time together after is a good thing to do.”

We all keep talking until it’s 6:30, and call the kids from Scarlet’s room so we can sit down at the table to eat. As soon as we’re all sitting down with plates piled with food, we dig in, and oh my God, the food is even better than what I used to get at home. I go back to the kitchen probably three times to get more, and by 8:00, we’re all so full, stomachs are bulging to a few times bigger than normal. We all get up and gather in the living room, Jimmy going downstairs to get a couple of acoustics so we can just play and talk about anything. It’s probably the most amazing hour of my life. Jimmy actually sings the song he wrote for me back in August, and I decide to fuck up history a bit and sing ‘Fool In The Rain.’ Everyone seems to like it, so I take that as a good thing and say, “You know, it’d be cool if you guys put that on the next album.”

“Did you come up with it?” Robert asks, “That’s really good…Sounds like something I’d write.”

I laugh nervously, which only Jimmy notices. “Kind of. It’s…complicated.”

The band family shrugs the comment off, but I can tell it’s bugging Jimmy for some reason I can’t figure out. So after everyone leaves to go back to their homes later at around ten, Jimmy comes up to me as I’m getting ready for bed and says, “Who are you, really?”

“What do you mean?”

“That song. It really sounded like something Robert would write, but he hasn’t even done that yet. And I found this today on the table.”

He hold up a piece of paper and unfolds it. “Stop car crash, save Karac, save Bonzo? What does that mean?”

I swallow, my heart racing. “Jimmy, it…it’s nothing, really!”

“I know you, Jules. Tell me what it means.”

I sigh. “Okay, fine. I’m gonna sound insane, but you have to believe me. I’m telling you the truth.”

He sits down on our bed, staring at me. I join him and hold his hand. “I was born on March 20, 1998. I worked at the EMP, a museum that started in the late 90’s. I had all of your albums on my phone. Jimmy, I’m not from 1958. I don’t know how it happened, but I went to sleep one night in 2015 and woke up the next morning here in 1975. This list is stuff that I have to do. I stopped a car accident that would have happened in Rhodes that would have left Robert in a wheelchair for the rest of 1975. In 1977, Karac and Carmen are going to get really sick and Karac is going to die, and I have to keep him from dying. In 1980, Bonzo will die in your house from alcohol poisoning. I need to stop that, too. I knew that you were using, and I stopped that. I’m telling you the truth, I swear to God.”

I look at Jimmy, and he shakes his head. “That’s insane.”

“I’m not lying! I’d never lie about that to you! I’m serious!”

“Tell me something only you would know, then.”

I try to think of something he wouldn’t talk about, and settle on the one thing that comes to mind. A single name. “Lori Maddox in 1973.”

His eyes widen. “How did you know about her? No one knows about that…”

“She talks about it all the time in interviews. Pamela makes this movie in 2008 that talks about groupies, and Lori’s one of them. She said that you two were really serious until you left her for Bebe Buell after a year and a half.”

Jimmy looks like he’s in shock, so I hug him and say, “I don’t care about that, though. I just...do you believe me now?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I do.”

* * *

 December 21, 1975

I’ve been having contractions for the last six hours, and at 9 in the morning, my water breaks. Jimmy calls everyone, including his parents and Caitlin, and tells them that I’m going to the hospital. We go to Raigmore Hospital, getting there after a painful 40 minute drive. After Jimmy takes me to the front desk and tells them that I’m going into labor, I’m almost shoved into a wheelchair and sped to a section that I can only assume is the maternity ward.

Jimmy isn’t let into the room to be with me, which only makes me cry harder than I already am what with my mom not being around. I don’t really remember much of what happened while I was actually giving birth because of the anesthetic, but all I do know is that it took maybe six hours until it was over. I woke up about two hours later to everyone sitting in the room, Jimmy’s mother holding a pink blanket and surrounded by the kids. Carmen looks up and sees me, and says, “She’s awake!” in a way too loud voice.

Jimmy’s mom stands up and gives my daughter to me. She’s asleep, thick black hair showing from underneath a pink hat falling off of her head. I don’t know why I laugh. Probably because I never thought that I would be here, surrounded by Led Zeppelin holding Jimmy Page’s accidental daughter. I look around the large hospital room, and see that tons of people have already sent flowers.

Carmen, Scarlet and Jacinda take turns reading the cards out loud to me, which come from all of the members of the Rolling Stones, Jeff Beck (to which Jimmy laughs sarcastically), Eric Clapton, Paul and Linda McCartney, Pink Floyd, and more musicians that I can’t really process took the time to send me flowers. It’ kind of mind blowing, really. And then Catherine wakes up after sleeping for a good hour more, and I immediately see that she’s going to look more like Jimmy than like me.

I kind of jump when I hear a voice next to me says, “I’m sorry I couldn’t be with you, love.”

“I honestly don’t think I would’ve remembered. I was knocked out.”

Jimmy laughs and kisses my head. “Happy Christmas, Julia.”

“Happy Christmas, Jimmy.”

 


	14. Chapter 14

January 1st, 1975

I’m busy feeding Catherine when Jimmy bursts through the front door, not even saying hello as he runs into the living room to turn on the radio in the corner. He turns the dial until it goes to BBC News.

“…to be taken into custody. In other news, the music world is suddenly shaken upon the death of rock musician Eric Clapton.” I look up and my eyes widen. What the hell is this?

“The 30 year old guitarist was found this morning in his home with various drugs, and it is suspected that the cause of death was in fact an overdose on the drug cocaine. There is not yet confirmation that this is true. A memorial for Clapton will be held sometime next month, but his representatives have not yet released where. A man in West London was cau-“

Jimmy turns off the radio, and when he turns to me, I see that he’s crying, too. He sits down next to me on the couch as I lift Catherine up to pat her on the back, and he breathes, “Was…did this happen? Was it supposed to happen?”

I shake my head and just stare at nothing until Catherine makes a sort of grunt, and while I’m cleaning her chin, Jimmy stands up and runs his hands sharply through his hair, gripping it in tight fists. “I don’t understand! How could this have not happened? _What_ happened?”

I sigh and put my head in my hands. “I have no idea. I mean, is he’s with Pattie Boyd, right? I think so…they both did coke, and it got kind of wild. But I don’t know why he died…” I bite my lip to try and keep myself together. But a sudden realization comes up out of nowhere.

 “Oh, no. Oh, my God…Pattie called yesterday and said that she wanted to get me something for Catherine, and said she’d get it today…He must’ve done whatever she left behind and what he had!” I start to cry harder, and Jimmy puts on a straight face, picks up our daughter, and takes her upstairs. He comes back down, sits next to me, and holds me.

“It’s not your fault, love. It’s-“

“It _is_ my fault, Jimmy! If I hadn’t been with you in Seattle, Eric fucking Clapton would still be alive! Nothing was supposed to ever happen between us in the history of this entire fucking planet, and there are hundreds of people who say that one little change can alter the future, and look at what just happened! I can’t deal with this anymore, I just want to go home!”

He rubs my shoulder and kisses my forehead. “It’s okay, Julia, really. If we hadn’t met, I would still be on smack, like you said. The car crash would have happened, too. And I wouldn’t have another daughter. In a way- and I’m not trying to sound completely horrible- I’m kind of glad that this happened. Even though he’s gone, I have someone here for me, and I don’t think I would had you not slept with me in the first place.”

“But it’s still my fault. I can’t think of it any other way.”

“Love, you’re not listening to me! You were brought here for a reason, and I don’t give a fuck how. Hell, I don’t _want_ to know how. But you were sent here to be with me. You belong here. You understand everything we talk about, you connect with the music, and you just seem so at home here even though you were born…what, 22 years from now? You must’ve been a strange girl in your time, but you’re one of the most envied and loved girls in the world right now. You get letters from people around the world! Now tell me that that’s not supposed to happen. That you weren’t supposed to happen here.”

I swallow and bury my face into his shoulder, wrap my arms around him. “I just…I love you guys so much, I’ve loved you since I can remember. Especially you. I mean, sure, I’ve loved a lot of musicians who I won’t ever be able to be with, but I never thought that I’d be _here_.” I laugh, remembering my time back home, back with my friends.

“Back home, my best friend and I loved classic rock with a passion. Like, we both agreed that if we were around now, we’d be groupies for you guys. I’d have you, she’d have Robert. I even called you my husband, because I loved you so much.”

Jimmy chuckles. “So people still listen to us?”

“Oh, yeah! You still get people who are basically raising their children on Led Zeppelin, Black Sabbath, AC/DC and the Stones.”

“What’s AC/DC?”

“This band that started in ’73, they release two albums last year in Australia and then a combination of them comes out in ’76 internationally. I think they’ve got Bon singing with them about now. I don’t know. But, yeah. You guys are legends. Nobody is gonna forget about you and the music, it’s probably going to be around until the world dies.

“Anyway, one night, I was sleeping at my friend’s house. I was there so much, that when her cousin came for a few weeks, they didn’t take out the bed they’d put in my friend’s room, they left it in for me.

“Well, this one night, we were busy talking about music and playing guitar with each other, and she said to me, ‘Julia, I don’t get why we were born so late. Being born back then would have been so awesome.’ I asked her why, and she said, ‘Because every musician- not disco, you know, but the rockers and the others- were genuinely talented. They didn’t have to use autotune, they didn’t have the easy way to fame with YouTube and stuff, they had to do all of that on their own, and it shows.’ And she’s absolutely true. Like, Eric’s death is just going to make more people go out, buy his records, and will make hundreds of kids out there aspire to be guitarists.”

“What are you saying?”

I shrug. “I don’t know. I guess I just want to take my mind off of it all and tell someone about my old life. Someone who will actually believe me, anyway.”

He smiles and kisses my head, and I smile back to the best of my ability. But the thought of Eric Clapton dying because of my stupid attraction to Jimmy Page is still burning in the front of my mind, and the anxiety of whatever else might happen because of it.

* * *

That night, Jimmy and I get absolutely no sleep at all. He stays up downstairs in the kitchen, the landline phone on the table, stacks of paper in front of him filling with what looks like notes and dates as he contacts or is contacted by multiple musicians, even spending two hours talking in a five way call with Jeff Beck, Chris Dreja, one of Eric’s reps, and Eric’s dad. I’m not able to sleep due to the constant ringing of the phone and the persistent reminder of death, so I just sit at the table with Jimmy, getting up whenever Catherine starts crying to feed her or change her before putting her to bed and going back downstairs.

It’s about one in the morning when the call finishes up and Jimmy puts the receiver down, leaning back in his chair as he tilts the bottle of Jack Daniels back and takes another drink. He sets it back on the table, dragging his hands through his hair and letting out a heavy sigh.

“Can we just unplug the phone? These conversations are getting really exhausting.”

I nod and hold his hand. “It’s alright. If you want, you can go up and sleep and I’ll write down anything if someone calls, okay? You’ve been through a lot today. You deserve a break.”

“But-”

“Shut up, put that bottle away, go upstairs, and get your ass in bed.” I kiss him and stroke his cheek with my thumb. “I love you. Go to bed.”

He stands up and looks down at me, running a hand through my hair. “Good night, love. Remember that it is not your fault at all. Okay? I’ll see you in the morning.”

After he’s up and in our room, the phone rings. When I pick it up, someone says, “Jimmy, hey! It’s Pete. Did you make any progress with planning anything?”

“Oh, sorry, it’s Julia. I made Jimmy go to bed, he hasn’t slept for almost a day.”

I hear the other guitarist laugh. “Well, I suppose you aren’t, either, with the baby crying at night.”

“Yeah. Um, just a second, I think he wrote something down about it…” I search through the papers Jimmy’s written on, and find the one from his last call session. “It says that they’re thinking of scheduling the public memorial service for some time in April, but Eric’s family is still thinking of a date for the funeral. He wrote that…it’s either going to be in a month or less.”

“Alright, I’ll check back some time in the afternoon and see if there’s any progress. Any word about Pattie?”

I shrug to myself. “I didn’t hear anything. Maybe I can ask somebody tomorrow. I’ll write down that you called, okay? Catherine’s crying, so…”

He cuts me off. “Go and take care of her, I’ll just phone in the morning. Tell Jimmy I say hello, will you?”

“Yeah. Bye, Pete. And you go to sleep, too.”

He laughs and hangs up, and I put the receiver on the hook before going upstairs to Catherine’s room.

* * *

January 9th, 1976 6:00AM

I get up early in the morning, careful not to wake Jimmy up. I go into Scarlet’s room and find her sitting on the floor surrounded by paper and coloured pencils. I sit down next to her and put my arm around her shoulder.

“You should be sleeping, love. What’re you doing?”

She shrugs and looks up at me. “Drawing something for Daddy. But I’m stuck.”

“He’ll love whatever you make, don’t worry. You know how much he loves you.”

She sighs. “Yeah. But I don’t know what to do…Maybe all of us and Aunt Caitlin and Uncle Robert and Jonesy and Bonzo and everyone else?”

“Just do whatever you want to. If you want to do that, I think he’d like it. He’d like anything from you. Okay? So you can work on it for another half hour, and then I want you to try and go back to sleep for a little bit, okay?”

She nods and I go downstairs to start making breakfast when Catherine starts to cry. I sigh and turn off the stove, go back up, and find that Jimmy’s got it all under control although he looks like he’ll pass out at any second from exhaustion. I go over to him and try to pick up our daughter, but Jimmy mumbles, “No. I got it, love.”

“Shut up, you’re tired. Go to bed.”

“No. You get up every night, I should give you a break once in a while.”

“But Jimmy, it’s your birthday…”

“I know, and I don’t care. You need a break. An early birthday present to you.”

I roll my eyes and kiss him on the cheek, swiftly moving Catherine into my arms with the distraction.

“You need sleep. You’ve been up for practically a week. A birthday present to you.”

He smiles and gives out a sigh like a laugh, and stands up to go back into our room. I only go back downstairs once I hear the bedsprings give a faint creak, and then nothing else comes from the open bedroom door.


	15. Chapter 15

 7:00 AM-1:00PM

Jimmy doesn’t wake up for probably another five or six hours, and in that time, I’m able to go down to the village and get a cake ordered, go back home to get a now fully awake Scarlet and Catherine to take them to the shops until we have to go and get the cake, _get the cake_ , and return home only to be driven back by Jonesy, who’s following the rest of the group and their families for Jimmy’s surprise birthday.

When we all are settled in the main living room and the cake is safely stored on the kitchen counter, we take turns going out to the cars to carry in wrapped presents and lay them out in the room from smallest to largest, smallest being a box that holds a pack of a hundred guitar picks and largest being a new column amp that’ll be stored God knows where. At just about one in the afternoon, the stairs creak with the announcement of James Patrick Page II’s awakening, and everyone except for Scarlet and me hides behind anything they can find. Jimmy comes into the living room and sees the line of presents, and when he says, “What’s all this?” everyone jumps up and shouts, “SURPRISE!”

Jimmy’s face lights up and he hugs and kisses me. “When did they all get here?” He laughs, smiling at his band members and the family.

“While you were sleeping. You must’ve been knocked out. Jonesy knocked over a plate and it hit the tile in the kitchen, and we all thought you heard it.”

He shrugs. “It came through in my dream. Bonzo threw a TV through a hotel room window.”

Robert and Maureen look at each other and nod. Robert says, “Hey, mate, d’you want to go down to the guitar room with the guys? We brought some of our things so we can start up on that album coming up.” Jimmy nods and kisses me one more time, saying thank you before going downstairs. As soon as the boys are gone, the girls tell the kids to go out and play before we all sit in a circle. Robert’s Maureen folds her hands and smiles.

“Okay, Julia. We -the girls and I- have been talking, and we thought of a birthday present you could give to Jimmy.”

I narrow my eyes. “Okay…what?”

“Well, we all know what it’s like after you have a baby for the first time, second in Jimmy’s case. You two haven’t had any time to… _reconnect_ because of the baby at night. And I know that’s true.”

I sigh. “Yeah. So what were you guys thinking?”

They all grin. “You’ll love it, trust us.”

* * *

11:30 PM

After all of the kids are up in Scarlet’s room and sleeping on a huge pile of blankets and pillows from around the house, the adults and I all go into the lounge, where the wives-including me-have set up everything to be as…comfortable as possible. We had all planned (along with the guys) to play songs that I know will get Jimmy really wired up, and then to get everyone out so that Jimmy and I can have some long delayed alone time.

We all start talking about the latest music news, ignoring the topic of Eric Clapton, when Maureen gets up and goes over to the record player. “Okay, everyone, Julia has hand-picked a fine collection of music for Jimmy to celebrate his birthday. And she’s also got a surprise for him, as well…”

I smile and wait until Jimmy is sitting in a chair to pull my hair out of the bun it’s in, shaking my head so the brown waves cascade down my back. I casually pull my Swan Song tee shirt over my head, watching as Jimmy’s eyes widen and he shifts in his seat. I kick off my shoes and saunter to him, leaning over and putting my hands on his thighs before saying, “You’re blushing, honey. You’ve seen more than this before.” His eyes drift down from mine to focus on the cleavage I’m sporting, and I slide my hands higher up his legs and brush my lips with his. “My eyes are up here. Now, you’re going to have to help me with this. After all, it’s mutual participation.” I smirk as his jaw clenches and his hand tightens into a fist.

He growls in a low voice only I can really hear. “Jesus, Jules, you have no idea how badly I want to-”

“Oh, I _know_ how badly you want to. We all planned this out. So now, we’re gonna start some music…”

Maureen puts on _Houses Of The Holy_ , and then everyone wolf whistles as I kiss my husband and he puts his hands on my waist. I smile against his mouth as I pull away.

“…And then they’ll give us some space to do what we have to do.”

Jimmy doesn’t look away from my face as the band family all leave the room, and when Robert calls out, “Have a good birthday shag!” Jimmy only responds with “You have no idea, mate”

The door closes, and when the latch clicks, Jimmy’s lips are attacking mine, his hands moving to the front of my jeans to unbutton them. I take my hands off of his thighs to get my bra off, and he stands up to get out of his shirt while I drop my pants and underwear on the floor. I throw my arms around his neck and keep kissing him. He holds me as close to his body as he can and picks me up, putting me down on the sofa that the others had been sitting on not-so-gently.

“D’you know how wild this is, Jules?” Jimmy says into my ear, grinning as I gasp when touches me like our first night together, “Someone could just open the door and see everything that we’re doing.” He kisses my neck and I groan.

“And if we were back in the fucking States we’d get in so much shit…” I laugh as he bites the skin over my pulse, “You’d get fucking arrested but I’d break you out and we could do it all over again.”

He sits up after a minute, and as _Trampled Under Foot_ starts, he unzips his pants and I get his dick out of his briefs. When he starts to fuck me, it’s actually really great; he goes with the beat of the song, and at the part with the guitar going up, he pushes into me especially hard so I cry out his name as my fingernails dig into his back. Then he starts to speed up and gets out of sync from excitement, and by the time the song is about to end, I’m moaning loud enough that I know the group behind the closed door can _definitely_ hear me.

Then, Jimmy’s head goes down next to mine, and he moans my name in my ear as he comes, his breaths staggering as he finishes. I wait until he pulls out to get up on shaking legs and grab his shirt off of the floor, bringing it up and over my head to cover my naked body. I kiss him as he shoves his dick back into his pants, and smile when he grabs my ass and says, “This has been a really good birthday, love. Thanks.”

“I’ll let everyone in, okay?”

 He nods, picks our discarded clothes from the floor and tosses the ball of fabric into a random corner of the room. When I open the door, everyone is staring at me with wide eyes and gaping mouths, then to Jimmy sitting on the couch and running his hands roughly through his hair. Robert laughs and walks in.

“Sounded like a helluva good time, you two,” he calls, pouring himself a glass of Guinness, “kind of like that time in Los Angeles but even more crazy.”

“What the fucking hell, mate! You listened in on that, too?”

“What? I wanted to see if she was…good enough for you. Seems like it, the way you ended. I never knew your voice went that low, Pagey.”

Bonzo shrugs. “We all heard it. You two are probably more into each other’s bodies than most humans. But seriously, mate, you were making some crazy low sound while she was moaning and shit. To be honest, it was kinda hot.”

Pat smacks her husband on the arm. “John, don’t say that!”

“What? They’re really hot for each other. _That_ , in turn _,_ made their noises hot.” He looks around at the others and raises his arms up. “Does anyone else here get it?”

Jonesy raises his hand timidly while Robert just yells from the lounge, “YES!”

“See, Pat?”

The blonde rolls her eyes. “Of course, it’s only the blokes who do.”

By now, I’m blushing so hard, I feel like my cheeks are on fire. “Hey, guys, I’d love for you to just drink your beer and _please_ stop talking about Jimmy’s and my sex life. I didn’t think you all would actually listen in on it…”

We all go back into the room, and I sit down on Jimmy’s lap, wrapping my arms around his neck and leaning my head on his. He holds my waist and the back of my leg so he can keep me on him. He kisses my cheek and smiles against the skin as I run my fingers through his hair, and when it’s around one in the morning, everyone else looks to Jimmy and me; we’re whispering about when they all leave, how we’ll do it all over again. Jimmy is starting to get a hard on already, so when the band family says that they’ll be heading off to go and sleep, we’re absolutely thrilled. The door closes another time, and when Jimmy lays me down on my back, he smiles and says, “We really are into each other.”

I kiss him and shiver as his hands slide down my body and dive underneath the shirt I have on. “And you’re always into me. Literally.”

I laugh before he captures my lips with his.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There hasn't been anything good between Jules and Jimmy for a while, so i just HAD to do this. Tbh, I've had this one planned since I started writing this, and I love how Jimmy's birthday turned out. Hope you all liked it!


	16. Chapter 16

I’m still sleeping on the couch when everyone goes home the next morning. When I do wake up, I find that someone’s put a blanket over me. I lift my head when I hear the door open up, and watch as Jimmy closes the door to the lounge and starts to take off his clothes. “Robert and Maureen took the girls with them,” he says, unzipping his pants and stepping out of them, “they thought that we’d like another day or so to ourselves, more like a day off.”

I stretch out and move closer to the back of the couch so he can lie down next to me before I rest my head on his chest. “I love them. And I love that we have time alone again.” I smile and look up at him. “Remember back in the States, when we were at the hotels and stayed up till one in the morning?” He rubs my back and kisses the top of my head.

“Yeah. That was a really good way to finish up a tour before coming back home. I still can’t really believe that you came over with me.”

“Shut up, you shouldn’t be surprised. And d’you wanna know the best part of being with you there?”

He smirks. “Besides getting to sleep with me every night?”

“When you’d get offstage and be so turned on from playing so hard that your face was soaking. It’s a lot hotter than you think. Literally.”

Jimmy laughs and holds me closer. “Maybe I’ll have to take you along more often. And you know what I loved about you being with me?”

“What?”

“When I’d wake up in the morning and see you wearing nothing but my dragon suit shirt. You looked beautiful. With your hair all messed up and down…”

I roll my eyes and bring my body closer to his. “Well, I usually couldn’t find my clothes, so I grabbed the nearest thing. It’s also really comfortable, so I loved wearing it.”

He sighs, and when I look up at his face, his eyes are closed. I smile and twist one of his curls around my finger, watching as it springs back into place after I let it go. As I run my fingers through his hair, I say to myself, “How did I get you?” I realise he’s asleep when his hand slides from my back and hangs over the side of the couch.

I decide to get up and get something to eat after staying with Jimmy for an hour. I lift myself off of him as carefully as I possibly can before picking up and putting on the shirt he had worn the night before, and go into the kitchen to look for something I can put together. While I’m pouring myself a bowl of cereal, I feel a pair of arms wrap around my waist and a familiar set of lips press against my neck. Jimmy doesn’t say anything as I reach up to get another bowl, just rests his head on my shoulder. I hand him the bowl once it’s full, and he kisses me after giving a “thank you.” I sit down at the dining room table, and he sits across from me, taking a spoonful as soon as he can. I bite my lip and say, “I had a really weird dream last night.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. I was pregnant again. And  my mom-my real mom, you know-was there, too. Like, she was _here._ With us and everyone else.”

Jimmy raises his eyebrows. “Was she alright with it?”

I nod. “Yeah, she loved it. She didn’t mind about us, y’know…doing that. She was just happy that she could see me again.” I look down at my food, picking up another spoonful and putting it in my mouth. Jimmy sighs.

“You really miss her, don’t you?”

I wait to talk until I’ve swallowed. “Of course I do, she’s my mother. I haven’t seen her for almost a year. I don’t know what she’s doing, how she’s doing. I don’t know anything about what’s been happening in 2015 for the last...what, nine, ten months?”

“Well, what was going on? I mean, I’d like an idea about what it’s like.”

I shrug. “Well, everything’s pretty shitty. There’s this terrorist group called ISIS that’s killed a ton of people and made millions of people become refugees in Europe, the biggest asshole in the world is running for president and will probably start World War III if he gets elected, and there’s still a ton of violence going on in the US with guns and police and all that. So it’s not a really good time, in my opinion. I’m kind of happy I’m here, to be honest. It’s a really nice change from what I was living with.”

He smiles up at me. “Well, was there anything good?”

“All of my favourite band members were still alive. Well, except for…”

He nods. “Yeah, you told me.”

We finish our breakfast in silence, getting up at the same time to put the empty bowls into the kitchen sink. We go down into the guitar room instead of the lounge and while Jimmy’s busy tuning his guitars, I sit on top of one of the amps he got for his birthday, crossing my legs and pulling the hem of the shirt over my knees.

“Hey, Jimmy, y’know that dream that I was telling you about?”

He looks up at me and nods before turning his attention back to the double neck.

“Well, I was thinking, and…I mean, I realized that I really love being a mom, and I know that you love being a dad, and…maybe we could do it again.”

He stops for a second, and swears when the seventh string on the second neck snaps and cuts his hand. He stands up and turns to face me, rubbing the back of his hand where the metal cut him, and says in a voice full of anxiety, “Really, love? It’s a little bit early for another. I mean, Catherine’s not even one month yet, shouldn’t we wait for a bit?”

“Yeah, of course we should, but I was just wondering if you ever would want to have another child. I mean, it’d be really awesome for me. I never even dreamed that I’d seriously have your kid. If I was still where I should be, I wouldn’t even know what you’re _like_.”

He chuckles and comes over, leaning over me and supporting himself by placing his hands on top of the amp. “And? You never told me if I lived up to what you thought.”

I smirk and wrap my arms around his neck, kissing him before saying, “Do you even have to ask that question? Honey, you’re even better than what I expected.”

He smiles and goes back to the twelve string, sighing. “Hey, would you mind looking for a pack of strings? They’re Ernie Ball. Should be in a blue paper pack that says 11 custom gauge on it. It’ll be in the top drawer of the desk right behind you.”

I nod and lean over to open the drawer, digging through package upon package of opened and unopened guitar strings, and finally find one that’s 11 gauge after what feels like ten minutes. I hand the pack to him and watch as he unscrews a small plate on the back of the double neck, and I seriously have no idea how he’s able to even change it. He tunes it higher than it should be, and he moves on to his mandolin. “We should wait until she’s three.”

“What?”

“We should wait to have another until Catherine is three. But I don’t know anything about that…”

I slide off of the amp and sit on the floor in front of him. “Well, let’s think about the people we know. Jonesy’s girls. How far apart were they?”

“Tamara was already born when the band got together, so…two years each?”

“And how did that all work out?”

“They said it was fine.”

I fold my hands in my lap and lean closer to him. “And remember that we also have Scarlet. She’ll be six in two years, and I bet she’d love to help. So I bet you that would make it a lot easier, don’t you think?”

He smiles. “I guess that sounds pretty good. And maybe we could move down closer to my family. I know that my mum absolutely loves you, and she’s been bugging me about how far away we are.”

I lay down on the floor and put my head in his lap, looking up into his face. “If Scarlet is okay with it, I’d be okay with it.”

He bends down to kiss me, and says, “Two years.”

I grin as my heart flutters in my chest, and echo back, “Two years.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, so I'm thinking that I'll split this story into one more part, and then this whole story will have to come to an end. I'm actually kind of sad about it, but I'm pretty excited for whatever comes next. Thanks to everyone who has been reading ever since I started this, I love you. Thanks, and I'll see you all again in the second half.


End file.
